all hail the queen

almost as if i'd wished it, eleanor is wiping her bottom. not the post-tinkle pat-pat-pat that we taught her over two years ago, but the post-poop-front-to-back wipe. my sister, who has weathered two potty trainings (three counting her own), recommended these big kid wipes called "kandoos," which i just couldn't bring myself to buy for the longest time. at only 50 wipes per $3 box (and it's a bulky plastic box which requires the child to push a button and retrieve a wipe all while balancing on a toilet), i had a hard time picturing my tiny, uncoordinated, germ-phobic four year old using them. however, after demo-ing the contraption to her and explaining that these are the same brand of wipes used by her older, cooler cousins, she was sold. three days, three poops, solo wiping and skid-mark free.

so, my four year old will be starting kindergarten knowing: 1) how to wipe her own ass, 2) how to button and (most of the time) zip, 3) how to identify all of the letters (upper and lower case) and their accompanying sounds, 4) how to print all of the letters (except that pesky "s" which she refuses to even attempt) and the first ten numbers, 5) how to count to 40, 6) how to do some very basic math (single digit addition and subtraction), 7) how to "sound out" simple words, and 8) how to sight read several three and four letter words.

ta-da.