free faunch

thoughts on my grandmother

2009-08-17T16:30:00.005-05:00

when I was four years old, i learned to read and write, thanks in no small part to my grandmother. she encouraged what would become a lifelong love of books and reading by spending hours patiently listening to me read, accompanying me to the library, and buying me books. one of my greatest memories was reading the entire little house on the prairie series with her during the summer that I was nine. we read, drew pictures of laura’s homestead, crocheted, and spent hours talking about life on the prairie and her own hard life on a farm in the texas panhandle. she was so proud of my accomplishment that she presented me with the set of books at the end of the summer -- those very same books sit on the shelves in my living room today, waiting to be read by my own children in a few years. like the hundreds of children who had the great fortune of being taught by my grandmother during her long career as an english teacher, i knew what it was to learn from someone who was always patient, never critical, and always excited about learning. but unlike those children who only had her in their lives for one year, i had that loving, enthusiastic support in my life for forty four years.

repurposing

2009-05-01T19:36:00.013-05:00

we spend so, so much on stuff...new work clothes for kevin, a special party dress for eleanor, sunglasses for forgetful me--my third pair since last summer--and even those occasional coffee drinks that i can't seem to do without. but the real bulk comes from all of the groceries and toilettries purchased each week. at times, it feels as if there's a conveyor belt running from the car to the apartment to the dumpster...new stuff in, old stuff out, new stuff in, old stuff out.

so i feel good when i make an effort to slow down the waste...make do with what we have and squeeze the very last drop out of it before it continues on in the waste stream. a slice of pizza from dinner becomes breakfast for one, the pasta salad/cheese grits/pita from lunch is dinner for the little person who doesn't care for what we're having, and a chicken carcass is thrown into my stock pot with some wilting celery, a couple of old carrots, and half an onion all scrounged out of the bottom of the fridge to form the basis of our next dinner (stock that will kick the ass of anything storebought and which won't cost me anything except a little time and freezer space). over the winter and cooler than usual spring, we occasionally enjoyed a classic southern dinner that kevin and i grew up on...a big pot of pinto beans and cornbread. however, instead of the smoked sausage that i usually purchase--turning this "poor man's meal" into something a lot pricier and adding one more ingredient--i threw in a ham bone left from a small ham that i'd bought on sale the day after easter. the more tender ham was used earlier, but i'd had the sense to freeze the bone and what was attached to it for a future use. the beans were delicious and maple-y, and i was pleasantly surprised to discover that the slow-cooking required for the beans tenderized the tough bits of ham still clinging to that bone. we ate everything except two cups of beans which i pureed into a yummy dip for the kids to snack on. we waste very little food these days thanks to a lot of advanced meal planning, careful shopping, and a doggedness to use it all. but i find it hard to stay on the wagon, particularly when i'm tired after work and our supplies our running low, so i'll get a boost of inspiration from jonathan bloom's smart, nonjudgemental, truly helpful blog wasted food, which i stumbled on to about a year ago.

but it's not just food. i am a champion list-maker, so i try to know who is wearing what at what time and who needs what at what time so if there's a sale or (even better) a give-away, i'm ready. "i'll take that!' while it can be hard to fulfill all of the clothing needs of the adults in our home this way, it's surprisingly easy with the kids. my children's clothes are passed on to the children of our friends, while my dear sister and a couple of other friends pass their children's clothing on to our family. underwear, shoes, and the occasional special purchase (note party dress above) are usually purchased new, but little else. even craft supplies--something that i despise buying since they eventually end up in the recycling bin or trash can--have come under the "every last drop" rule. a neighbor's stack of old newspapers and magazines is raided for both content and crafting potential. most recently, my linen closet (which at one time stored a lot of old, excess linens that have since been given to someone else who can put them to use) has been repurposed as a supply closet: old tees and towels cut into cleaning rags and dish towels, extra rolls of marcal toiletpaper, rechargable batteries, hardware, dried seeds for our apartment kitchen garden, baking soda for non-toxic cleaning, concentrated detergent, shampoo, soap, mouthwash, and toothpaste all purchased on sale, as well as freebies from dentist visits and conference hotels. nothing in bulk, nothing from one of those big box places, and only those things that we use regularly.

speaking of shopping, years ago i established sunday morning as market day when i realized that i could shop quietly while my neighbors slept in or attended church. however, because i usually made trips to both the food co-op and the chain grocery store, with the occasional visit to target, i felt that i was doing more driving than i needed. the few times that i'd tried to carry home groceries--even just a fraction of what we'd use in one week--was tough. i'd thought about buying one of those folding shopping carts, but it seemed like more stuff to clutter our home. so, i repurposed the kids' umbrella stroller, which doesn't get a lot of use these days. it fits 2-3 very full trader joe's reusable shopping bags very easily. ta-da.

children on their birthdays

2009-04-25T20:26:00.000-05:00

piece meal

2009-04-23T09:25:00.012-05:00

like the return of our robins, i'm thrown into a panic over finances every spring. it's the end of our family fiscal year, we've either paid our taxes or received our teeny refund, and i've updated our annual budget. however, with the economy being what it is this year and the sense that things are just so unpredictable, i've been even more anxious that by choosing to stay home with my kids, i'm hurting the family financially. so the internal dialogue raging inside of me over the last month has sounded something like this...can we afford for me to stay home another year? is a fulltime-sized paycheck worth seeing less of the kids and kevin, spending no time at their schools, no longer having those 5pm family dinners, purchasing a second car and everything that goes along with that, and paying someone else to pick up and watch my children until i get home? what about all of the money that's not going into savings?

honestly, i love being with my family, and i would be thrilled to never hold another fulltime job. i like cooking and volunteering and walking the kids to school every day and playing with them and their little friends and organizing our lives and in general just enjoying life. and even the cleaning, which i stink at. while i understand the concerns of women who find it isolating, boring, and mind-numbing, i don't. truthfully, it continues to be the most fullfilling, stimulating, pleasant job i've ever held--one i'm grateful to do--so the idea of returning to fulltime work outside of my home, even doing something that i really enjoyed before i had children, depresses the hell out of me.

but something interesting happened to me this spring. i realized that i am, in fact, working full-time outside of the home. for nearly four years, i've been working very part-time (for pay) in hopes of maintaining my skills for that theoretical day that i "go back." however, that one saturday a week has grown to two full days a week and the occasional third day, as well as the addition of some very visible responsibilities, which, i believe, has made me somewhat necessary at the college, rather than just another faceless adjunct. my occasional book reviewing (again, initially just to keep my hand in things until that far off day) has lead to a small home-based business, complete with my own amazon storefront, generating a small, but steady income that pays for small things like summer camp for both kids, museum memberships, and our afterschool coffee and steamer habit. lastly, the small parents' group that we co-founded has grown from those initial 20 families way back in 2007 to 310 families and counting. i oversee membership, the web site, scheduling, and related issues, including, surprisingly, conflict resolution...all marketable skills. although i receive no paycheck for this last "job," i've made useful, potentially important contacts in the city and i've been thinking about how i can use this avenue as another source of income, but that's still in the thinking-about stage.

interestingly, i know several self-described stay-at-home parents who are doing the same thing, and it seems to be working for them as well. and so i will cross my fingers and hold my breath and do whatever else is necessary to hold on to this fragile, lovely, perfect life we have at the moment.

when the calm hits the fan

2009-04-09T17:43:00.004-05:00

for the last several weeks, i've experienced an odd calm. odd, because i'm rarely calm, even under the best of circumstances. when i'm not fretting about my children and their moods, schools, relationships, and development or my husband and his moods and work, i'm thinking about my sisters and their families, my friends and their families, my job and coworkers, my neighbors, my various community activities, and when i don't have enough to worry about, people i've never met. i don't hear from my youngest sister for more than three days...something's wrong. a friend is tardy responding to an email...what's happened? kevin's not sleeping well...he's not telling me something. i read a news story about an injured child or hear about my sister's friend's neighbor being downsized and i dwell on it for days, worrying for them, imagining myself in their position, wondering how they might better their current situation.

lately, though, i just seem to be going through the motions of worrying. "hmmm, i emailed so-and-so with a specific question and she's blown me off. gee, something must be up." but i don't experience that same anxiety. just not there. maybe, just maybe, i don't really give a shit. (i'm even a tiny bit relieved.) or perhaps i've learned that trick that kevin seems to have mastered of worrying about only those things that really matter.

i'm not sure if it's the changing weather or hormones or some real, much healthier way of coping, but i don't care. i'm just trying very hard to keep the feeling as long as i can. worrying, of course, that it will slip away.

making a list, checking it 9,248 times

2008-12-02T10:03:00.005-05:00

list lover that i am, i have begun my holiday to do list -

unpack and decorate the christmas tree,
prepare and send a christmas care package for my brother-in-law stationed in afghanistan,
order, address, and mail christmas cards,
order gifts and shop for holiday cooking,

visit the gingerbread house display and santa at peddler's village,

attend the winter concert at the henry school,

bake and decorate gingerbread with the kids,

bake trash (aka chex mix) and toast pecans without the kids,

prepare and deliver gifts to the teachers, our sitter, and our building super,

see the nutcracker at the academy of music,

attend peter's christmas dance recital,

fondue on christmas eve, and

enjoy tamales on christmas day.

i can now rest a little easier knowing that the list has been made.

we will take no tea today

2008-11-20T10:53:00.004-05:00

there's a wonderful scene in felicity learns a lesson where felicity makes the momentous decision to not have any tea. it's tricky because the merrimans are openly supporting the patriots, but felicity doesn't want to offend her dear friend elizabeth, who is a tory. and while we can politely decline a drink, apparently it was considered the height of bad manners to do so some 200+ years ago. with the help of miss manderly, felicity learns the perfect phrase for such situations, "i will take no tea today, thank you" accompanied by carefully balancing one's spoon across the top of one's teacup. the message "i just can't do this, but it's not personal" and everyone understood. tea wasn't tea. it was the foundation of polite society, the center of all socializing for young ladies and gentlemen. and so it is today with the playdate.

as i frequently, loudly, tell anyone who will listen, my kids struggle in the afternoon. pete hibernates after lunch--and "hibernate" really is the only way to describe his 2-3 hour daily naps--and eleanor still finds kindergarten physically and emotionally exhausting. this creates a problem for us in two ways. first, most playdates occur in the afternoon on a weekday, which means that they miss out on these wonderful opportunities to interact in a less chaotic setting with peers. second, i work on the weekend, so the only time that i get to chat with my friends is during weekday playdates while our kids are occupied. it is with great hesistation that i ever schedule weekday, afternoon playdates.

however, sometimes i can't stand it any longer and say "what the hell, let's try it" and schedule one. like yesterday, when we visited friends whom my children know and really like. an easy-going child who plays equally well with both of mine. lots of things to do inside and out. snacks. but almost immediately, i could see that pete really did need that nap. and within 30 minutes or so, eleanor slipped into her new personna, surly, sassy-mouthed teen. they were demanding, difficult, mean to eachother, and rude to everyone. when i got them both back in the car, they immediately collapsed into tears and they were both alseep before 7:30. eleanor will be writing an apology to our hosts before emily can leave timeout, but i don't think we'll be trying this again for a while.

for now, we'll take no tea, thank you.

2008-11-05T00:30:00.000-05:00

that kind of day

2008-10-29T21:27:00.008-05:00

pete does nothing halfway, and that includes loving. so when he loves you, he loves you more than anyone on this earth has ever loved anyone else, and when your relationship isn't going exactly as he planned, well, it's bad and he lets you know as directly as he can. it might involve prolonged screaming, say, to and from party city in plymouth meeting, or it might involve wrenching himself free of his carseat while you're driving about 45mph so he can "get out of this car right now," or it could even involve biting your hands and clawing your face, repeatedly. it just might involve all three, more than once. it was that kind of day. and, yet, he almost always has a full lip kiss for each one of us before bed, but an extra long one for his sweetheart, me. it was also that kind of day.

tortilla soup weather

2008-10-28T17:11:00.016-05:00

if you follow baseball and maybe even if you don't, you know that philadelphia has been been blanketed by a non-stop, bone-chilling rain going on two days now. which is good if you're a rays fan as it buys the team a little time to possibly get their shit together before the phillies take the series, but which is bad if you're a phillies fan and your team was leading the potentially-series-winning game last night thanks to some godawful officiating and a very lackluster tampa bay only to have the moment snatched from you by god himself, but which is good if your moods are ruled by hormones and the weather...like me. soup weather is upon us, and we all enjoyed tortilla tonight. if the weather's nice and chilly wherever you're at or if you'd like to crank up the a/c and pretend, here is my very lazy gal's tortilla soup recipe -

one 9 oz. package of bear creek tortilla soup mix
2 cups of chopped or shredded chicken
half cup of corn or frozen green peas
one cup of pinto beans
one cup of rice (cooked in advance)
one lime cut into 4-8 wedges
grated sharp cheddar cheese
tortilla chips

cook soup as directed by the package, but double the recommended amount of water. toss in chicken, corn/peas, pinto beans, and rice. cook until everything is well heated (bubbly). spoon the soup into bowls, top with cheese, and serve with lime wedges (to squeeze into the soup) and tortilla chips (to the scoop up the soup).

homers

2008-10-21T09:29:00.006-05:00

in august, kevin and i celebrated our fourth anniversary in philadelphia...one year longer than anywhere else we've lived as a couple. and i'm wondering how that's possible given that it still doesn't really feel like home to me, that i still refer to texas as home, still think of new york as my second home. eleanor and kevin have adapted so much better than i have, embracing both philadelphia and texas. and although they would both gladly return to texas or anywhere within driving distance to the texas borders, they're content. and then there's philly-born pete, who will always be "not a texan" even if we were to move back tomorrow. no matter how many years he might spend in the lone star state, no matter how strong his southern accent, he will never be a texan, just like charles, heather, and steve. however, because he doesn't have the same sick connection that we do, he's free to love this city in a way that i just can't. this is his home. it makes for some interesting dynamics at home. like whenever we watch an eagles games for the sole purpose of rooting against them or the start of hockey season when he asked why kevin and i are sabres fans rather than flyers fans. total homers that we are, we can only respond "because it's philly." eleanor cackles over these inexplainable loyalties and indulges us, but pete has finally reached the age where he'll know longer play along. "i'm for philadelphia." okay, little man.

when hillary met eleanor

2008-10-14T09:49:00.020-05:00

someone whom i've admired for many years is hillary clinton. during bill's first presidential campaign, i found her to be smart, feisty, loyal, and independent (something i also think and hope that i may see in michelle obama). her individuality hadn't been sucked out of her by the process like so many other political wives. maybe it was that she had a life independent of her husband's or that she was younger than most previous first ladies. i don't know, but i do know that i never found her intimidating, scolding, threatening, cold, or any of the other adjectives invoked by the media, many men, and some women when talking about her.

and although i wasn't, yet, a mother myself, i greatly admired her parenting choices. she appeared to be protective, loving, and always placing the interests of her child first, even if that meant a lost opportunity to help her husband's career, her career, or her image. from everything that i've read and seen, chelsea clinton seems to be a grounded, kind young woman, despite having grown up under very strange and at times difficult circumstances.

when her daughter was on her own as an adult, hillary was free to pursue her own interests. finally. and the route that she chose was as senator of a state that i had come to think of as mine, a place where i had made my home for three years, completing graduate school, marrying my husband, and developing a sense of belonging that i've only experienced in one other place. although many saw her move as strategic and self-interested, i did not. of course, she'd want to return to public service, and, of course, that would involve a state where she and her family had spent so much time and were so loved. surprising to some, but not to me, she's done very well in the senate, working with the very people who made careers out of attacking her for so long, tirelessly serving her constituents, and building a reputation as someone who gets things done. even longtime critics have called her work in the senate admirable.

so when she eventually announced her candidacy for president, i was pleased. happy to see a public servant who had done so much already running. and, yes, i was also proud that such a qualified woman was finally stepping up to the plate. i don't vote for candidates based on their gender, race, age, or likability, but i knew that hillary actively supported so many of the issues that matter to me. and so, i waited and watched...countless debates where she appeared knowledgeable, poised, confident, calm, and, at times, even funny. even in light of the unprecedented hate that was thrown her way from all directions, including our party, she didn't lose her cool and actually appeared to grow stronger because of it. i slowly evolved from uncommitted democrat, happy to support the party's nominee whomever that may be, to full-on clinton supporter. and i don't know if i've ever felt so out-of-synch, so alienated from friends, neighbors, and even some family who seemed to have lost their senses, admitting that they found her too cold, disapproved of her handling of her marriage, or just dug the idea of voting for a black candidate, all of which seemed like extremely bad reasons to elect someone president. goodness folks, aren't we wrapping up eight years with someone that most voters elected on the basis of likability? don't you want the most knowledgable, most professional, hardest working hardass in that job? no, apparently not.

my enthusiasm and the enthusiasm of my husband carried over to our kids. and because we were both sick of how anyone seeking elected office in this country is villainized, we worked very hard to stress the importance of and honor in public service. in the spring, we talked about the remaining four major candidates (clinton, obama, huckabee, and mccain at that point), the nomination process, and one or two differences between the parties. our five year old daughter found it all very exciting and, not surprisingly given our enthusiasm for her campaign, developed an attachment for hillary. and when hillary conceded, eleanor sat in my lap and watched the speech while i cried. it was very difficult for me to get over my anger at so many people--not because hillary lost because, god knows, i've had plenty of experience being on the losing side--but because it had absolutely nothing to do with her qualifications. so, yes, i am one of those bitter, middle-aged, white women. bless kevin's heart, he was every bit as pissed off as i was. but you know what? eleanor was fine. her feeling was that our candidate is out, she's supporting obama, he believes in many of the same things as we do, so he's our guy. she was parrotting what i'd said, of course, but the difference was that she meant it and i didn't, yet.

and finally, about the picture above that inspired this confessional. last saturday, obama made a series of campaign stops around philly. in the spirit of party unity (if i pretend to be happy, maybe i really will be), we wanted to take the kids, but, unfortunately, my job prevented us. however, sunday evening i received one of those mass emails from the clinton staff that hillary would be joining mayor nutter and congresswoman alison schwartz at a democratic rally on columbus day. even thought i had to personally dress three out of four of us and we adventured far into unfamiliar northeast territory, we managed to get there in time to get seats in the very, very crowded 400 capacity community center. and we waited. and peter went through all of our snacks and drinks. and we waited. and both kids entertained/annoyed everyone around with us with their "hil-la-ry"chants and pete's rendition of "grand ol' flag." and then we waited a little more. after about ninety minutes, one of the handlers finally came on stage to announce that they'd be out very soon, and then another handler peeled off from the pack, ran down an aisle, and parked directly in front of...me.

would we mind moving to the stage? no, we wouldn't mind. would our kids be okay in front of a crowd? um, yeeeeeeeah. probably. let's try it. we climbed on stage with about a dozen retirees and one preteen girl and her mother, and we were seated--oh, no--front row, to the right of the podium. eleanor sat on my lap, quietly, smiling at everyone in the audience and whispering questions to me about the lighting and news cameras. pete, well, pete talked (loudly), bounced between me and kevin, played with my clothes, laughed hysterically, demanded snacks that we no longer had, and wanted to know where in the hell hillary was and when we would see her. somehow, we made it through another hour on stage until congresswoman schwartz was finally introduced. then, about five minutes into her remarks, we spied hillary and mayor nutter in the wings, and pete began shouting, "there she is! hillary! i can see her!" i'm sure it was very cute, but all i could think was, "youtube." he calmed down enough that mayor nutter made it through his remarks (and even smiled and pointed at the kids), but pete totally lost his shit when hillary was introduced. seriously lost it. eleanor, who actually knew why we were there, was fine. all smiles and polite applause, knowing exactly when to stand and when to sit. peter, on the other hand, had to be restrained (by me) by his overall straps while I balanced eleanor on my lap. he stood the entire rally, waving and calling to his sweetheart at the podium.

when it was over, and man, was i glad when it was over, hillary and nutter immediately turned to those of us on the stage to thank us, shake hands, and quickly pose for a few pictures. i'd had the good sense to drop our digital camera into my bag before we left the house and kevin scrambled to get it out while we chatted with the senator and the mayor. bless his heart, he missed out on getting his picture made because they were already being rushed to their next event, but kevin managed to snap the photo that you see above. eleanor all business, pete shocked, and me giddy.

i've met a speaker of the house, four governors, several congressmen, a future president, several presidential candidates, and many, many local and state politicians, but i have never been so thrilled to meet anyone. look at my face.

cool super-robot leg

2008-09-18T10:33:00.010-05:00

while waiting to pick up eleanor from kindergarten recently, peter and i hung out on the playground with other parents and siblings. we finally flagged down eleanor in a sea of tiny blue uniforms and white knee socks and headed home, but not before pete pointed out, "ha-ha, she doesn't have a leg -- look at her walk on that stick!" now imagine that being yelled in his very best gerald mcboom-boom voice about 15 feet from said woman. she wore long shorts and it appeared that her leg ended somewhere in the upper thigh area. her prosthetic was very thin and metallic (and actually pretty awesome looking), and she was so agile that he failed to notice it during the 30 minutes or so that we played near her earlier. her son was riding on her shoulders and if she heard peter (which i'm betting that she did), it didn't slow them down.

because both of our kids will keep asking the same question again and again, louder and louder, until they finally get some sort of response, i quickly bent down and pulled peter to me so i could hiss, "it's rude to point and yell at people. she was either born without her leg or it may have been removed because it was sick or hurt. she's wearing an artifical leg made by special doctors just for her. it's called a prosthetic. now let's get going." so peter, ever on the watch for bad guys, screamed, "but she's a monster!" and i started sweating and squeezing his little arm and thinking, "jesus christ, just shut up and move." of course, i was the only one with a problem. no one else cared or noticed. not the woman and her son, who were either oblivious or ignoring the three year old. not peter, who finds nothing (my breasts, his anus and what comes out of it, or the appearance/smell/fashion choices of strangers) off limits. it occured to me that the prosthetic was similar to the legs used by the runner oscar pistorius, which we all thought looked like cool super-robot legs. so i whispered, "it's a robot leg," and pete said something along the lines of, "ohhhhh, okay," because, as i've posted at least a few times, who doesn't love robots?

inquisitive minds

2008-08-28T09:23:00.005-05:00

last week, while eleanor and i talked about nothing in particular -- most likely which american girl we like most (i picked kit, eleanor chose felicity) or the scheduling of playdates or a much-anticipated girls-only trip to nyc -- the following exchange took place in our living room during quiet time -

eleanor: i've been thinking about something. it's a really hard question. i just can't think of an answer.

me: okay. let's hear it.

eleanor: if there has to be a woman and a man to grow a baby and a long, long time ago, when there were dinosaurs and there weren't any humans...

i can feel it coming, but i wait and it's so hard, letting her finish. it feels like it's taking forever until she finally finds just the right words.

eleanor: where did the first human come from?

me: that's a very good question. how smart of you to think of it! well, it's complicated, but let's see if i can help you.

and from here began our two hour long dialogue about evolution. evolution for just-turned five year olds. a five year old who knows the basics of human procreation, the life cycle, and scientific discovery. someone who calls bullshit on anything that smacks of anything too supernatural when she's looking for the real answer. a child who laughed when repeating some ridiculous story that a babysitter told her about angels bowling when it thunders. tickled that an adult would believe such nonsense and would repeat it to her.

so we talked and talked and talked some more. when i got to the part about our shared ancestor with the chimpanzee, she laughed: for real? yep. then she told me to prove it. so, i got online and found a basic "evolution of man" chart from a reliable education source, which we studied closely. she was fascinated and pulled anything relevant from her book case...human anatomy for children and the animal encyclopedia...feeling her face, my skull, our hands, feet, and tailbones. we talked about skull size and language development, the use of tools, why we don't eat fellow primates, and what happened to our tails.

her follow-up question to all of this was, of course, a killer: where did all of the animals and plants and insects come from? we talked the big bang, primordial ooze, the necessity of air, light, and water, single cell organisms, and the transition of water life to land life. i sketched. she had many, many good follow-ups. i sketched some more. she challenged me after each attempt at an answer. so finally, my friends, i punted. we really need to go to the library for this.

and we did.

"you've made all of my dreams come true"

2008-07-30T09:47:00.004-05:00

the frog princess is coming, the frog princess is coming! disney finally gives american girls their very own home-grown princess. (no, pochahontas doesn't count.) and she's black! and in new orleans! and the film will supposedly feature real jazz music! will disney ruin it? probably. especially the music. but eleanor has been waiting for this moment for over a year now, so we will be in the theater on december 25, 2009. someone at disney has just made all of eleanor's dreams come true. (yes, she really does talk like that these days.)

knock, knock

2008-07-30T09:11:00.005-05:00

who's there?

...boo. boo, who? ah, don't cry.

...tank. tank, who? you're welcome.

...who. who, who? hello, mr. owl.

...ivan. ivan, who? ivan workin' on the railroad.

[and let's not forget the classic]

...banana. banana, who? [repeat at least ten more times, preferrably until your sister/brother is driven to tears, violence, or both] knock, knock. who's there? orange. orange, who? orange you glad i didn't say banana?

i wanna go home

2008-07-26T18:31:00.004-05:00

UPDATE: those dicks at youtube removed the "embed" option so the above video no longer works. try this for the best, most heart-felt version or this version which is g-rated. they said that you're from down south and when you open your mouth, you always seem to stick your foot right in there.

things said

2008-07-25T21:12:00.012-05:00

...this week by people aged four and under living in my home -

"you smell like uncooked chicken, momma."

"you smell like grandma's deodorant, momma."

"you smell like momma, momma."

"grab that creature!"

"ah-ha-ha-ha-ha, i pee-peed on your feet."

"i forked it, it went down my throat, into my belly, and i pooped it out."

"you made all of my dreams come true!"

"i snatched it."

"did you toot? oh, no. that was me."

"nacho, nacho bear. i wanna be a nacho bear."

"i died you."

"when will it snow?"

all hail the queen

2008-07-23T08:46:00.011-05:00

almost as if i'd wished it, eleanor is wiping her bottom. not the post-tinkle pat-pat-pat that we taught her over two years ago, but the post-poop-front-to-back wipe. my sister, who has weathered two potty trainings (three counting her own), recommended these big kid wipes called "kandoos," which i just couldn't bring myself to buy for the longest time. at only 50 wipes per $3 box (and it's a bulky plastic box which requires the child to push a button and retrieve a wipe all while balancing on a toilet), i had a hard time picturing my tiny, uncoordinated, germ-phobic four year old using them. however, after demo-ing the contraption to her and explaining that these are the same brand of wipes used by her older, cooler cousins, she was sold. three days, three poops, solo wiping and skid-mark free.

so, my four year old will be starting kindergarten knowing: 1) how to wipe her own ass, 2) how to button and (most of the time) zip, 3) how to identify all of the letters (upper and lower case) and their accompanying sounds, 4) how to print all of the letters (except that pesky "s" which she refuses to even attempt) and the first ten numbers, 5) how to count to 40, 6) how to do some very basic math (single digit addition and subtraction), 7) how to "sound out" simple words, and 8) how to sight read several three and four letter words.

ta-da.

heartbreaker

2008-07-17T21:14:00.007-05:00

peter is beginning week four in underwear during daylight and if the idea of him leaving babyhood doesn't make you feel really old, then you're not me. although it's not as frightening as connie receiving her driving permit, it's just as weird. if not more so. he's very full of himself and his big boy ways. checking out ikea's play area, going commando in the pool at a recent party, planning his future of nothing but soccer, swim lessons, dance class, and all of those other cool kid things that one can only do sans-diapers. he even wipes, a trick that his almost five year old sister won't even attempt. luckily for me, there are still plenty of moments to remind us all that he is only three and, yes, still a baby. like taking two hour naps, playing baby-growing-in-mommy's-belly, and bursting into tears during today's playgroup because a bigger, older friend told him that he will never be big enough for some meaningless boy bullshit that they were all doing. i am still the one he goes to for comfort nine times out of ten, and i will enjoy it while it lasts because the day is coming soon, my friends, when he'll want no part of me and my smothering, boring, uncool, mom ways. and he will break my heart.

state of mind: anxious

2008-07-17T20:27:00.007-05:00

while i battle my own anxieties, enjoy this clip of the late great harvey korman and the consistently hilarious cloris leachman, who will always be mary richards' neurotic pal, phyllis lindstrom -- my anti-rhoda. remember when phyllis' extremely cool, laidback daughter beth was going to marry the son of two little people and phyllis freaked out like beth was going into porn or becoming a cannibal? 'member dat?

i like to watch

2008-07-11T20:14:00.004-05:00

over the winter, kevin and i watched all four seasons of hbo's the wire via netlfix. while anxiously waiting for season five to come out on dvd some time in august, we've been giving battlestar galactica a try, which is funny because neither of us really like sci-fi. however, we've found it to be pretty entertaining, particularly the cylons (who are far more interesting than the lame humans) and the sniveling, weak, scientific wonder weinie gaius baltar. and, after months of waiting, we finally received amc's mad men. we plowed through the first half of season one last week and this week and, dorks that we are, we're now anxiously waiting by our mailbox for disks three and four. it's far better than bsg...slicker production, great attention to detail, perfect music, coolest opening credits, better acting, and superior writing. it reminds me of six feet under in that there are no tidy endings, no good guys or bad guys, and nothing normal about it despite the 1960 setting. everything looks perfect, but is just a little off. not twin peaks weird. just smart, funny, tense, wildly inappropriate.

speaking of inappropriate, how do they get away with saying "shit" and "fuck" on amc, by the way? i realize that it's cable, but it's amc, not showtime. i have no problem with it...i'm just curious.

ch-ch-ch-check it

2008-07-09T08:35:00.009-05:00

i like lists and i really like checking off stuff on said lists. i mean, i really like it. it only took me nearly four decades to realize this, but once i did, i've been a much happier person. unfortunately, i also proscrastinate. last night, i sucked it up and finished five things that were hanging over me:

finish the review that was due over the fourth of july weekend, but which i didn't work on since i figured everyone at the mag was on vacation;
email everyone on my ala committee welcoming them and asking that they submit a brief bio to us all (most librarians were at ala last week, so i just let this slide although it was due last week);
create a closed yahoo! group where the new committee will meet, add the members, send notification to everyone, and post the committee handbook entry and timeline on the new space (okay, i was right on time with this one); and
plow through a couple of hundred new emails in all four of my accounts (it may sound ridiculous, but i really, really need these accounts to stay organized...one for family and friends; one for ala stuff; one for all child-related things including our parenting group, both schools, all of their little summer classes, playgroups and playdates, etc.; and one for work -- in one week, these four accounts generate around 400 messages, about half of which require me to skim, read, or actually respond).

as a result of this minor accomplishment, i had time to dash off an email to a philly friend whom i hadn't heard from in weeks, i didn't speak harshly to anyone last night (even eleanor when she pulled her "i just can't sleep" routine that she's used all summer), i watched an episode of bsg with kevin guilt-free, i slept well, and i now look forward to starting the next two tasks on my list: organizing the bby library and compiling, analyzing, and reporting on the results of the mapn education survey. bring it on.

kindergarten readiness

2008-07-06T18:10:00.006-05:00

with kindergarten approaching in just two months, kevin and i have been easing eleanor into the ways of real school, as opposed to the beautiful fantasy world of endless wardrobe changes, unlimited organic snacks, teachers who wipe bottoms, and doing whatever floats your boat that is preschool. whenever the moment arises, we've casually dropped into the conversation a little something about what to expect ("oh, that reminds me of when i was in kindergarten and we all got desks!"), how to raise your hand and wait for an adult to call on you if you have something to say ("you'll get to talk sooner"), why we wipe our own bottoms ("sadly, there's only one teacher in the room, so she won't have time to wipe everyone"), how to eat with your mouth closed and still hold a conversation ("why, you're going to be just like one of the big kids"), and why we don't share food/drinks/tissues/hair accessories/hats (colds/germs/lice). she's very excited about walking to and from school with us, eating lunch at school every day, and skipping quiet time with me and pete, but she's a little unsure about uniforms, although i've told her that we won't buy the optional pants or walking shorts so she can wear a skirt every day -- hooray! she's also a little concerned that her teacher might secretly hate children (thanks, eloise).

are we over-preparing? i don't think so. this is a kid who likes to know everything up front. she's a muller. and given enough advance time, she usually adapts well to changes, thank god.

she may be ready for kindergarten, but is kindergarten ready for her?

what's cookin'

2008-06-30T19:49:00.012-05:00

every week, we travel to one of our three nearby local libraries. usually, it's chestnut hill or lovett, but lately we've crossed the park into archie bunkerville, a.k.a. roxborough, to visit our favorite children's librarian. (yes, i speak of the beloved "brady" who was transferred last month. like those creepy phish fans, we are hardcore and hit the road when our faves go on tour, although we bathe. and there are no illegal drugs.) once there, we'll return whatever we've been reading, sleeping with, or just carting around the house. we'll let peter play the green-eggs-and-ham computer game, try to strike some sort of compromise with eleanor over some video crapola, and check out another twenty or so books. these books are about anything that strikes our fancy that day...curious monkeys, helpless and not-so-helpless royalty, robots, monster-sized felines and dogs with really bad breath, rascally pigeons, dancin', bats, poop, swine siblings, frogs.

strangely, we often discover in our stash at least one children's storybook that includes a recipe. it's never planned. and while these books aren't cookbooks (unlike the retro look and cook--which we own--with its delicious comfort food and oh so betsy mccall-like illustrations), they do involve cooking in some way. we've only taken the time to try one of the recipes (see below), but it's my goal to go back and try more of them once the weather cools and i regain the patience that i seem to need when cooking with kids.

here are some of our discoveries -

bruno the baker (i made this cake. easy and definitely edible, although quite plain even with the lemon zest that i added. maybe more zest next time.);

walter the baker (i know that eric carle is some sort of genius, but, damn, his illustrations creep me out. and i have it on good authority that he's an a-hole.);

carrot soup (not a huge fan of cooked carrots, but the ingredients sound like they'd make something tasty and my two foodies love veggies.);

how to make an apple pie and see the world (this title was very timely given that eleanor and i had been talking about the hidden costs of things and the amount of energy used to transport food all over the world. regardless, it made me want a slice of that pie and i don't even like pie. much.);

and my favorite...

beverly billingsley takes the cake (the cake sounds like a mess to make and very birthday-cakey in that way that kids love and i hate, but i love bev and stadler is a philly boy, so we will make it.).

shame is a great motivator: pt. 1

2008-06-27T21:05:00.008-05:00

the kids and i saw wall*e this afternoon with friends. pete loved the robots because as i've said here before, everyone loves robots, eleanor liked wall*e's girlfriend eve (which was about all she could find to love, sadly, because she is the exception to the who-doesn't-love-robots rule--see previous), and i loved it all. please go see this lovely, smart, funny, sad film. it deserves a huge audience, particularly audiences made up of little folks. and while you're at it, read the tin forest, buy local, peruse wasted food, trade in your gas guzzler for a more efficient car or, better yet, get rid of your car completely if you're lucky enough to live somewhere with an extensive mass transit system. (do you really haul enough that you need an suv, a truck, or even a minvan? because no matter how good you think the mileage is, there's a more efficient option out there. maybe even a nice used gasoline powered car that's small, safe, and gets great mileage, but still allows you to transport kids and groceries.)

is shame a great motivator? i like to think so and, apparently, so does pixar.

devil's dumplings...mashed, please

2008-06-25T20:28:00.005-05:00

i had my first mammogram today, three years later than is generally recommended. however, with all of the conceiving and carrying and birthing and nursing of babies, i was excused. pete weaned himself in late october, so i was told to wait 6-12 months to "dry up" to ensure a good read. once i made it out of the waiting room, it took only a few minutes. although getting your boob mashed never feels good, it also didn't hurt like i'd been lead to believe (kind of like those girls in high school who scared the shit out of you with their stories of first pelvic exams or those really evil relatives with their delivery room horror stories). it felt like what it was...someone holding on to your boob a little too hard and a little too long. and now for my favorite breast moment in pop culture history -

so can someone please tell me how rowan atkinson can look like this while also looking like this? his blackadder 2 is kinda, well, sexy. this isn't one of my alan-brady-is-incredibly-attractive-and-you-all-are-dead-wrong things, is it?

ps: my boobs got a clean bill of health.

northern exposure

2008-06-24T17:45:00.012-05:00

it's the exposure to different people, ideas, and ways of doing things that make me appreciate this place even on days when i don't love it or even like it much. there's not a lot of love in the city of brotherly love, but there's a buttload of tolerance.

eleanor finds it weird if we're away from our home and everyone is white. "are we still in philly? where are the brown skinned people? it's weird here." diversity is the norm.

eleanor's idea of "parents" is much more encompassing at four than mine was at 24: a mother and a father, two mothers, two fathers, one mother, one father, a grandparent.

in eleanor's world, two adults who love eachother and want to start a family might marry. she's gone from wanting to marry a little boy in our playgroup to me to a first cousin to pete to the twin girls in her preschool class because "three wedding dresses are fancier!"

eleanor's dearest friend at the moment is a darling little girl from germany who loves dancing and dress-up and baby dolls and drawing princesses for hours and hours, just like her american doppelganger.

eleanor thinks of church as a place where people go to be together and support eachother and talk about life. she doesn't recognize the words sin, god, heaven, hell, christ, and satan, but she does know jesus, funny enough. good ol' jesus -- that nice guy who told people to be kind and take care of eachother.

pros and cons

2008-06-20T20:08:00.010-05:00

i'm frequently asked by folks around here, particularly those who grew up in the area, how i like the city. if i don't know the person very well, i use my standard southern response, "it's lovely. there's so much to do. we're so lucky to have found our neighborhood." and this is all true. with the exception of those couple of months when the trees are still naked and brown and everything's a wet mess, it's one of the loveliest places that i've ever seen. there is a lot to do, much of it free or relatively inexpensive. and our neighborhood, west mt. airy, is amazing, populated by politically progressive, involved people who care about the neighborhood. however, if i know the person well enough, i might tell them what i really think. what kevin and i talk about at night after a particularly bad day or when i'm feeling a little homesick, which i have been feeling more and more lately.

and what is that? "if it wasn't for the drugs, the guns, the violence, the corruption, the shitty schools, the ridiculously inflated real estate prices, the economic segregation, and the lack of civility, we'd love it." we live in a city where a hit and run doesn't seem unusual, where people set eachother on fire, where adults are afraid to correct children for fear of being beaten by the children and/or their parents, where citizens speed, jaywalk, litter, mug, and vandalize property in broad daylight, on our busiest streets, in view of police stations. it would be easy to say that these are issues that plague every large city. however, i've lived in a few large cities and this is different. it would also be easy to blame this on the difference between northern and southern sensibilities. having lived in new york state for three years, i can say that is not the case. this is a philly issue. this is a mean city.

given these problems--really my problems with the city--i've been asked if we've considered moving outside of the city. yes, we have and, hopefully, we won't. there are several reasons why kevin and i haven't fled for the suburbs or the surprisingly close rural areas (what we always called "country"): proximity of cultural institutions (like the many museums that we don't patronize nearly as often as we hoped we would thanks to a little boy who still has trouble with impulse control); easy access to mass transit (which is nice when we want to go downtown or to chestnut hill or to even nyc, but completely useless when it comes to the two places that we most frequent--his campus just ten minutes away and my campus in a nearby county); fairmount park (okay, given that we have no yard, we use the heck out of the park system); and the huge racial, ethnic, religious, and cultural diversity. we've also become very attached to our neighborhood, which i mentioned earlier, and that includes the local public school where eleanor will attend kindergarten in the fall, the progessive, cooperative preschool where eleanor spent two years and peter will spend another two, the little independent shops and restaurants that are within walking distance so we rarely have to use the car except when traveling to and from work (see "mass transit" above) or target (my not-so-secret vice), the independent coffee house where the they know us and our drink preferences and don't mind if we sit all day sipping on a coffee and sponging off their wifi, the neighbors who recognize us and the kids and actually stop to talk (just today a man and his little girl who i didn't know stopped me and the kids to say "hi" to eleanor, whom they knew from the park, and ask after kevin), and even our dear building, the mccallum (i love our historic building with its hardwood floors, marble lobby, working fireplaces, and delicious central air, and the professional, responsive, funny gentleman who runs it). there are also the friends. not family, not friends we've know since i was known as "cathy" and kevin sported a mullet. new friends. post-kids friends. these are smart, caring, people who seem to love our children and like us and work really hard to carve out a little place that's kind and safe and interesting in a mean, mean world. think austin in texas pre-tech boom, but with terrible accents, worse manners, and no tex-mex.

and this all leads me to my next post: how philadelphia makes our lives better.

and now the part where i answer the first of life's many questions

2008-06-17T20:00:00.009-05:00

dear free faunch: i am being driven insane by all of the jargon in my library science classes. my fellow students throw around terms like they emerged from their mothers' wombs clutching a card catalog. although it's been more than a few years since i graduated from a highly-ranked state university that will remain nameless, i consider myself a fairly intelligent, well-read person. is everyone else that much smarter than me? is my dream of telling unshaven, overweight men to stop surfing porn just not meant to be? am i (gulp) not cut out to be a librarian? your pal, tremblin' in tejas

dear tremblin': relax. seriously. you are sufffering from what i like to call "the oldies," a condition that i am more than familiar with having suffered from it when i too made a mid career change to the lucrative, glamorous field of librarianship at the age of 34. luckily, i am about to share a little known secret with you: there are books (yes, books!) available to help you and these books are most likely not the books that were assigned for your classes. yes, that's right. secondary texts.

for your particular question, i consulted fabu publisher of all things library and library-related, libraries unlimited, which has kindly uploaded joan reitz's lovely online dictionary for library and information science (2004) for those of us too broke to buy this endlessly useful tome. written in actual english, with words that even i understand, odlis is one of those tools that you can't do without when you're in library school (i mean you, tremblin') or in the field and in need of a quick refresher (i mean me, on a daily basis). so the next time that some smarty-pants colleague throws out ctea or rebus or, god forbid, zipf's law, it's time for a quick consult. okay, i pulled that one out of my ass -- zipf's law was never introduced in any class or reading material, so don't panic.

a sampling, for your reading pleasure -

catalog: a "...comprehensive list of the books, periodicals, maps, and other materials in a given collection, arranged in systematic order to facilitate retrieval (usually alphabetically by author, title, and/or subject)..."
taxonomy: "...the science of classification, including the general principles by which objects and phenomena are divided into classes, which are subdivided into subclasses, then into sub-subclasses, and so on. taxonomies have traditionally been used in the life sciences to classify living organisms (see tree of life), but the term has been applied more recently within the information sector to the classification of resources available via the world wide web..."

now you too can give the appearance of being all-knowing. next question?

the killer inside me

2008-06-14T21:17:00.004-05:00

on our watch, the class pet, a sweet tempered bearded dragon named "pumpkin" died. the pet lovers. the stray collectors. the finders of homes for the homeless. we were only following orders and look where it landed us. i'm embarrassed, defensive, angry, and most of all very, very sad. my husband, who wouldn't eat meat for thirteen years out of guilt, is equally down about the whole experience.

while i continue to beat myself over it like i do every real and imagined failing, the kids, well, they handle it like they did in february when our family was hit with three deaths. it's all another part of the life cycle, so what's all the fuss about? on to the next "amaaaazing adventure!" as eleanor says.

happy talk

2008-06-13T11:27:00.005-05:00

we're in full-on potty talk stage around here. it's high-larious the first three thousand times you hear it and then, well, not so funny. pete's chant goes something like this, "poop, tinkle, toots, diarrhea, anus." daily, hourly. no relief. "i have an anus cave." "my penis is a little bear in a cave. in the cave, out of the cave. in the cave, out of the cave..." "i'm gonna touch your 'gina." please take your hands out of your pants--"i can't, my finger's in my anus, momma." "i'm gonna put a tampon in my anus." "i smell anus!" "the monkey has lipstick anus." "cubby [ed. note: a stuffed bear] tooted and didn't apologize!" " the [insert food item of your choice] looks/smells/tastes like poop." the best that we can do is put restrictions on it...bathroom only, never at school, never at mealtime. dare you not to laugh.

not a book

2008-06-12T16:34:00.020-05:00

when is a book not a book? when it serves no purpose except shilling some disney or mattel or nickelodeon crapola? when it runs on batteries in order to make noise and flash lights and otherwise distract from the carefully crafted illustrations and words? when the gee-gaws and products and "tricks"--as eleanor so rightly calls them--outnumber the words? when its purpose is to create consumers, rather than readers, while cloaking itself as a learning tool? i hate these things that i won't call books. it makes me ill to see them in homes, in libraries, in bookstores, and underneath the giftwrap. eleanor is old enough now that she understands why these things might be initially entertaining, but ultimately unfulfilling. however, she's a child and she can't fight all of the effort that goes into marketing this very attractive junk. kind of like the kettle chips that i love...they taste mighty fine, but leave me feeling queasy all day long.

here are some of the worst offenders, which we've either received as gifts, *checked out of the library, or perused at the bookstore. just a few in a seemingly endless sea of shit.

where are they now? barbie loves cheerleading sits on our coffeetable, along with the dozen real books that eleanor checked out of the library yesterday. she does pretty well overall, although her selections are always heavier on fairytales, princesses, and anything fancy, ala ms. nancy, than i would have chosen at her age. i grew up on barbie, but, unlike many women my age, i hold no grudges. i always found her empowering, glamorous, and very, very cool. but these nonbooks are something else. wrong. not books. as for the wiggles' nonbook, it was donated to our school's yardsale, along with a book featuring a gun that was given to the kids earlier in the year (which is another story, for a future post). and no one's even noticed that it's gone. like barbie, the wiggles are loved by everyone in our household, including kevin, but this is not a book. and we've never actually owned the dora or oreos nonbooks, but the kids have looked at them ("it's that show at grandma's house!") and coveted them ("treats! let's get some of those"). publishers and retailers never have your child's best interest in mind. they are business people. be vigilant.

so where can an adult go to find real books for kids? the american library association has numerous online tools available to help, but their notables list is always a good place to start. asking your local children's librarian is also another excellent (and sadly underutilized) resource. lastly, trust your good judgement. look at the book. read it. think about the message(s). is it something you would have enjoyed as a child? is it really a book? the good choice isn't always convenient.

*like the home that i grew up in, we're a "no censorship" household. if a book is on the shelf in our home, anyone is allowed to read it. if there's a book in the children's section of the library, it may be checked out. even nonbook-books provide learning moments. i just don't want them to take up permanent residency or crowd out the real thing.

rhymes with mypochodriac

2008-06-08T20:29:00.003-05:00

nearly six days ago, i woke up with three, two-inch long, red marks on my upper right cheek. the marks appeared to be scratches, which i assumed were earned during a playful tussle with pete on the previous day. so, i did what anyone would do: i ignored them. after a day, the marks became redder and itched (just slightly). no pus, no streaks, but a little swelling and tightness. now visible enough that friends commented and strangers looked. so, i finally called the triage nurse at my doctor's office, who managed to both tell me that it's no big deal while suggesting that it could be quite serious. and now i'm doing the worst thing, the thing i caution all of my students against...i'm self-diagnozing online. lupus, cellulitis, a recurrence of my shingles from '05. does kevin know where i keep the passwords for all of our accounts? is our insurance current? what about the guardianship papers? or maybe it's just a scratch.

trashy

2008-06-08T18:00:00.004-05:00

have a favorite time-killer when you're online? reading dumb blogs? stalking former friends, enemies, boyfriends? fantasizing about the recipes on epicurious? trying on different hairstyles without having to commit to an actual haircut? checking out which jane austen character you most closely resemble? tracking local real estate and checking out the horrible decorating mistakes that your neighbors made? these are all things that i've done -- more than once. however, my favorite way to waste a whole bunch o' time is perusing the trashy celebrity gossip sites, like dlisted, what-would-tyler-durden-do, i-don't-like-you-in-that-way, and, my favorite, the celebrity sighting map at gawker stalker. and if your preschooler asks what mommy or daddy is doing during "quiet time," you are reading the news. hey, it's my quiet time too.

be cool, boy

2008-06-07T20:07:00.010-05:00

man, i hate the heat. i hate tanning, i hate freckling, i hate putting the mega sunblock on top of the regular sunblock that i already wear year-round, i hate bullying the kids about hats and sunglasses and the very same sunblock that i don't like wearing, i hate the way my hair frizzes and my make-up slides off my face on the one day a week that i wear make-up, i hate having to switch between two industrial strength "manly" deodorants because i can't seem to fight the stink with a daily shower and normal deodorant, i hate the way that the salt and oil collect around my hairline, underneath my bra, and in the creases inside my elbows and behind my knees, i hate the nat cluster-f around my eyes and nose the minute that i step outside, i hate the way the steam rises off the sidewalk late in the morning, i hate running our central air nearly non-stop and the resulting utility bills, i hate how guilty i feel wasting so much energy because i'm uncomfortable, i hate sand and ocean and swimming pools, i hate people who talk about beach houses and the shore all goddamn day and claim to love hot weather--"why would you ever leave texas?"--(screw you), i hate the feeling of any other living being touching me, including my spouse and my sweet babies, and i hate fixing nothing but cold meals for every meal for fear of setting off the smoke detector in the hall once gain (no lie). "look, kids! another salad! but this one has green peas and bowtie pasta instead of black beans and mixed greens. yum-yum. no, honey, we can't have garlic bread because it's too fucking hot."

hot? be cool boy.

i'm a terrible parent because i let my child...

2008-05-23T07:13:00.023-05:00

...watch youtube when i want to distract them or entertain them for 1-4 minutes while i run the bath, take a phone call, grab pjs from the other room, (take your pick). okay, i'm not "terrible." cps isn't going to take them from us -- at least i hope not. however, i know that most folks would consider youtube highly inappropriate for a four year old and a three year old, and they're right for the most part.

kevin and i work hard to keep the kids' exposure to electronic media (television, videos, and computers) to a minimum. at great personal sacrifice (i seriously love cable television), we eliminated cable when eleanor was one. we don't purchase videos and we ask family and friends not to purchase videos for them. if there's something that they really want to see (disney's 1950 "cinderella") or that we really want them to see ("monsters, inc."), we check it out of one of the many excellent libraries in philly. by renting from a library, 1) the video isn't in our home forever, tempting them and us, 2) we can control what they see and, most importantly, how much, 3) we're not contributing to the goddamn waste stream even more than we already are, and 4) we help the library's stats, instead of the retailer's stats -- something that's very important to our community if we want our local libraries to keep building these amazing, diverse, free collections. we also don't own any of those computer games for toddlers and preschoolers, which, honestly, i think are bad news. i also love the very popular argument, "well, it's on, but they aren't watching it." sorry folks, but that counts. just because they're not silently sitting two inches from a screen with their mouths hanging open doesn't mean that they're not taking it in.

notice that i include computers when talking about electronic media. the american academy of pediatrics includes all forms of electronic media when making recommendations regarding exposure for children and, yes, that includes computer time. i'm amazed at the number of parents of very young children, who tell me, "oh, yes, we don't let our kids watch television." no, not if you mean commercial television. however, it seems that many allow their kids to watch pbs (as do we), as well as countless kids' videos. and, of course, there's the ever-present computer that's in most homes. the academy recommends no more than two hours of daily exposure from all media (that's total) and we've tried to follow that guideline. don't i trust my own parenting skills? don't i "know my kids better than anyone else?" yes. but i also don't have years and years of study and experience in this area. i would no more ignore their guidelines on weight than i would this.

for the most part, our kids get about two hours of pbs' commercial-free kids' programming between 6:30 and 8:30 in the morning and about another 30 minutes of youtube in the afternoon or early evening. there are days when they get a little more (like when i was sick recently), but there are also days when they see nothing. and we're okay with it.

so, just what are they watching? (really, i should say pete because he is our number one youtube fan.) it's this, and this (as far as eleanor and pete are concerned, that's "well, yes"), and this, and this, and this, and, of course, this, which i've embedded for your viewing pleasure -

who doesn't love robots?

so, what is your dirty secret? chocolate milk for breakfast after a bad night? done it. candy during a haircut? yep. letting them walk barefoot through the parking lot in 40 degree weather when they refuse to put their goddamn shoes back on, but insist on walking? yes, yes, yes.

back in black

2008-05-19T17:18:00.025-05:00

after a long, long absence from blogging for many, many reasons, we're back. what kept us away? two active kids and all of the things that go along with that, one very demanding job (kevin), one considerably less demanding job (cathy) that still managed to consume a lot of time, a growing involvement in our community (most notably our kids' school and the mt. airy parents network -- more on that later), our obsessive search for the perfect school (well, perfect for our child), and just the regular demands of life in the big city. since we last posted in august 2006, we've seen some mighty big changes and several not-so-big ones, as have you all.

why are we back now? mainly the need to feel more connected with much-missed family now spread out across the country and the urge to get back into the practice of writing on a regular basis. there must be something about the month of may -- we started this three years ago in may and here we are again. may. go figure. and what about you? as eleanor would say, "let's chat."

cathy & kevin

if a picture paints a thousand words...

2006-07-07T17:40:00.000-05:00

just a few photos that i've been saving up. no point or order to them. enjoy.

cathy

it's been a long, long time...

2006-07-06T08:27:00.000-05:00

i think most everyone knows that i've been spending the last six months preparing for the annual conference of the american library association, which was held in new orleans this year. about 20,000 librarians and vendors descended on the city -- the first major event held there post-katrina -- and we had a great time. the city (and more importantly, the people) are ready for tourists. i received the warmest reception the minute our plane landed and it never let up -- the shuttle driver, hotel and restaurant staff, etc. i was even stopped on the streets by about half a dozen locals to ask me if i was "one of the librarians" and to thank me for coming. a great experience all around. of course, now i'm immersed in all of the post-conference stuff, which should settle down for a little while in august, then start right back up in september.

speaking of ala, i wanted to share one of my celebrity sitings. i met the creator of olivia, ian falconer. extremely nice, normal-seeming man with loads of patience for silly adults. i snagged autographed/personalized copies of the latest olivia installment (olivia forms a band) for eleanor and o-vivian. and here are some pictures to prove it -

"librarians are subversive...you think they're just sitting there at the desk...they're, like, plotting the revolution, man."

cathy

but can you dance to it?

2006-05-21T12:43:00.000-05:00

who can be the first to guess what these individuals have in common besides that they're male, white, english-speaking performers? there is something else common to all eight, but it's quite obscure. i will help you out by identifying each picture. clockwise from the upper left: the boss, the king, ryan adams, the wiggles, elton john.

the answer will appear next week.

cathy

miss the sound of my sweet voice?

2006-05-04T16:36:00.000-05:00

if so, you can hear me talk about the sabres-flyers series online! buffalo's wben interviewed me (twice) for a story on what it's like to be a sabres fan living in philadelphia.

i don't sound nearly as silly or nervous as i'd feared, although i am shocked at how much i sound like my sisters. nice to hear that my accent is still there. may i never lose it.

make the jump here.

cathy

the land of ice & snow

2006-04-27T09:32:00.000-05:00

it's playoff hockey, which, if you know us at all, you know that few things matter as much at the moment. even eleanor has gotten into it -- she was allowed to stay up and watch the first period of last night's game and has taken to blurting out things like "go sabres" and "play hockey, y'all" whenever the mood hits her. kevin is wearing his jersey around campus and i've been sporting my sabres ballcap all week, just daring the other mommies at the park and at playgroup to say something. (buffalo leads philadelphia in the series 2-1, by the way.)

if you're looking for more posts, i am actually posting on the games for sivacracy as long as the sabres are in it. so, if you're dying for a fix, feel free to jump over and read my posts. since i know that no one in our families or among our friends is really a hockey fan (with the exception of fellow buffalo fan siva), i'll spare y'all the posts here.

what? you think you're a hockey fan? what, because you've actually watched one or two games? i'll be the judge of that. please answer the following questions WITHOUT CHEATING (yes, it's cheating if you look up the answers or ask anyone else) -

define "top shelf."
how many games are in the regular season?
name all of the match-ups in the first round (both conferences).
what was the last team that current flyers coach/former stars coach ken hitchcock played for?

i will post the answers.

cathy

blog island

2006-03-26T18:32:00.000-05:00

you're stranded, alone on a deserted island when a water-proof foot locker washes up on shore. you open it and find a solar-powered combination dvd-monitor (which plays cds as well); solar-powered coleman stove with all necessary cookware, utensils, and dishes; a water filtration system; a deluxe swiss army knife; and ten additional items of your choosing. what are your ten items? note: you may not include anything that allows you to be rescued or to communicate with another person.

"wahine wiki huki luki nu"
cathy

that a wig?

2006-03-11T14:39:00.000-05:00

i think the 'gina discussion threw me for such a loop that i neglected to include eleanor's comments that occurred before the plane even took off. she also told everyone on board that "she's black" while pointing to a little girl and her family, and she asked the flight attendant "that a wig?" while pointing to the women's head. am i really going to be 54 when she's 16?

it has hair

2006-03-11T11:01:00.000-05:00

thanks to everyone who was able to make room in their busy schedules to see us in dallas last week! i'm only sorry that we didn't have more time to hang out and to make a couple of long-overdue road trips to the pandhandle and austin. kevin and i agree that this was probably one of the more relaxing visits home in a long time (at least since we had children). kevin ate enough tex-mex to tide him over for a while, i slept enough to temporarily get rid of the mildred-eyes i've been sporting for the last few years, and eleanor and peter got to spend time with family, particularly their beloved cousins and mr. smooth cheeks, charles. eleanor had such a great time that when our elevator doors opened and she saw our front door, she burst into tears and screamed that she wanted to "go home to grandma's house." me too, el. i then dragged her into the house by her little arm while she shrieked and kicked.

speaking of eleanor, it wouldn't really be a post from me without a story of some odd, cute, or creepy thing one of my kids did. so, here it is. on the flight home from milwaukee to philadelphia, eleanor struck up a conversation with an adorable college-age couple who were seated in front of us. after telling them her name and age, as well as pete's name and age, she decided to enlighten them about where babies come from. here is the transcript - "i grew in mommy's tummy. i was little, tiny in her tummy and grew bigger and bigger. i came out of her 'gina. it has hair. hee-hee-hee..." thank god, they didn't seem to understand anything past "tummy," however, i laughed so hard i cried and choked telling kevin, who only caught "gina," but missed the part about "hair." no wonder people without children hate those of us with children.

cathy

you give me fever

2006-02-17T19:53:00.000-05:00

eleanor has apparently inherited my tendency to contract bizarre illnesses. after three days of serious crabbiness and 60 hours of a temperature that hovered between 102 and 103, followed by an odd, raised rash that looked suspiciously like what i'd always imagined measels might look like, she was diagnosed with roseola. of course, she was first diagnosed by me, then by our pediatric nurse. anyhoo. here's what it is http://tinyurl.com/8kh4e and here's what it looked like as of this afternoon (click on photo to see detail) -

approximately, 30% of children contract it by age 5 and nearly everyone is exposed to it by the time we're adults. so, study up!

on a completely unrelated note, kevin and i began working out this week at the university's gym. pete was using the rolls of loose skin around my middle to pull up and i felt like my ass was liquifying, so it seemed like a good time to do something about it. we've set the ridiculously ambitious goal of working out three times per week (each of us).

"look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. marge, bart, girl bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. how i loathe him."

cathy

happy pretend birthday to you

2006-02-01T21:35:00.000-05:00

eleanor has declared february 1st to be happy pretend birthday day, which i'm pretty sure she invented despite what my googling might show. on this most wonderful of days, everyone gets a special treat (in our case cranberry bread), sings songs, wears a silly hat, and is allowed to choose how old they wish to be for the day. eleanor has announced that she is eight, her most favorite number and, coincidentally the floor where we live, while peter is only five. poor pete. me, well, eleanor thinks that i should be two and i'm cool with that if it means that i get a pass on all dirty diapers for the day.

"happy pretend birthday to you!"

cathy

post script: kevin has pointed out that eleanor looks suspiciously like a kilgore rangerette, a reference that is, sadly, lost on the nice folks up here in yankeeville.

what kind of looter am i?

2006-02-01T20:56:00.000-05:00

okay, it's another cool toy from our bestest pals at rumandmonkey (see "kill time" links on the right).

what kind of looter am i? you decide. you can also view a breakdown of results.

cathy

updated recent reads

2006-02-01T20:14:00.000-05:00

finally, finally, i've updated the "recent reads" section. we both read a buttload over the break and the new list only reflects a fraction, but i've been really overwhelmed with ala business at the moment so blogging and other non-necessities have gotten pushed aside. anyway, if you're looking for a good read, check out one or more of these at your local library. do not give any more money to barnes & noble or borders or amazon unless it truly is a book that you want in your personal collection for the rest of your life. thomas aquinas may preach "beware of the man of one book," but catherine collins says "get off your ass and go to the library. use it or lose it folks."

cathy

hooked on hasselhoff

2006-02-01T12:40:00.000-05:00

well, not really. but his cover of "hooked on a feeling" made me laugh and laugh and then i stopped laughing long enough to worry, once again, about what is wrong with europeans. go ahead and jump.

"there are many dying children out there whose last wish is to meet me."

cathy

the world's tiniest sabres fans...

2005-12-22T20:08:00.000-05:00

or how to indoctrinate your children into the world of obsessive fan loyalty. peter and eleanor will either despise all organized sports and the people who follow them or they will have lovely memories of a well-rounded childhood where both a well-written sentence and a hard check into the boards are appreciated. i know that i recall discovering the works of d.h. lawrence and ernest hemingway on our shelves at home, as well as the memory of sobbing under my seat at rangers' games, ruining baseball for me until i was an adult.

the sabres are 23-10-1, second in the northeast division, and tied for third in the nhl. "it's a festivus miracle!"

cathy

ps: pete is wearing a turtleneck now worn by all five collins grandchildren. we bought it for jake in 1999.

"thousands of secret wire taps"

2005-12-18T00:09:00.000-05:00

i feel obligated to mention that the senate rejected reauthorization of the usa patriot act yesterday thanks to the efforts of folks like russ feingold, larry craig, and john sununu, not to mention the recent revelations that president bush has authorized thousands of secret wire taps of us citizens, as well as foreign nationals, without court order. thank you for that, sweet jeebus. can i just say that russ feingold would make a great running mate?

now it's just a waiting game until january 1st when the act is set to expire if reauthorization fails.

cathy

ps: yes, that is johnny.

we're back, baby

2005-12-01T22:28:00.000-05:00

after a brief break, we're finally back blogging. the month of november was well-spent with four, yes four, different groups of out-of-town overnight guests, all of whom were very-much welcome, but it nearly killed me trying to keep eleanor and pete on schedule. no one is happy when the schedule is altered even for something as pleasant as a visit from loved ones. the first two weeks of december were spent playing catch-up on things like laundry and bills, preparing for christmas, interviewing hired help, and work. i expect that the next few weeks will be equally busy as well. here's a quick update on all things collins-grauke.

the sweat of our brows
kevin's classes recently concluded and he's in the midst of grading a gazillion papers and revisions, all due wednesday. given his frightening workload, i hesitate mentioning that i continue to work saturdays and to fill in for coworkers when a shift becomes available. of course, then i remember that mommy works 24 hours a day. with kevin carrying a lighter load and the bulk of my work with ala's nmrt coming in january, our spring will, hopefully, be more quiet. if only our son would sleep through the night -- or at least only wake once. the shreiking every two hours combined with the biting of various family members' fleshy parts is absolutely killing us all right now. thank god, we aren't travelling during the holidays.

the nanny
as i mentioned earlier, i finally sucked it up and hired some help last month. she's a dream: a college nursing major with several years of childcare experience, limitless energy, and a kind, but no-nonsense manner. (interestingly, she's from new jersey, but sounds nothing like fran drescher. what's up with that?) all four of us took to her right away and i hired her without interviewing any of the other candidates. it's been three weeks now and i can say that the kids really like her, kevin appreciates her, and i love her. you may be asking yourself, "what do you need a nanny for? you only work one day a week, for god's sake." well, she watches the kids on saturday mornings while i'm working at the library and kevin is busy working in the livingroom of our apartment. that's right -- she watches the kids while kevin's here (which, by the way, is what distingushes a nanny and a mother's helper from a sitter). the plan is that come spring, kevin will write (as oppose to grade or prep for classes, which is what he does right now). now for the best part. about once a month, this amazing creature will watch the kids on a friday or saturday evening so we can go out (which is what distinguishes a nanny and a sitter from a mother's helper). go out. i can't even believe that i may soon be eating a meal in public with my husband and no one will be shitting in their pants, demanding to suck on my breasts, or grabbing at everything within arm's reach. that is, unless kevin has too much to drink (ba-dum-dum). i also have to admit that i love saying "our nanny." as in, "i'll have to check my nanny's schedule" or "have you met our nanny?" that we live in a two bedroom apartment and own one car is beside the point.

my hair
so everyone wants to know, "cathy, how is your hair?" finally, i am no longer losing fistfuls of the stuff. last month, after realizing that i look like a recent hair plug recipient, i walked into a salon and demanded that they cut off what little hair i still had. i am now sporting a very short, pixie-style coiff, which i'm styling with gobs and gobs of pomade in sort of a laurie anderson 'do. i am also sporting some low rise (but not too low), tight, boot cut jeans for fear that i'd begun ressembling that saturday night live ad for mom cut jeans. afterall, 40 is the new 30 and fugly is the new pretty. here's one of the only close-ups you will ever see of me on this site -- you may admire my new haircut.

and what have you been up to?

cathy

hot babes

2005-11-09T14:16:00.000-05:00

just a quick post to share some updated photos of four of the seven cutest children on the planet: eleanor, peter, neil, and ava. if my sisters ever sent me new photos of their brood (and a grainy camera photo doesn't count), i'd post them. but, until then, these will have to do.

cathy

p.s. - yes, i will post on yesterday's activitity, but it will have to be when no one is shreiking "come here now -- i mean it" over and over during nap.

you say alito, i say scalito

2005-10-31T21:55:00.000-05:00

i am not alone in thinking that at some level the bush administration wanted the miers nomination to be so outrageous, so ridiculous that they could then pull the nomination, only to replace her with their real nominee. someone at the far right of the spectrum who will comfort the right-wing-nuts. someone guaranteed to chip away at personal liberties. someone so conservative that his nickname rhymes with scalia. someone like, oh, i don't know, samuel "scalito" alito. i know, i know, you're shaking your head at my conspiracy theory. but, really, isn't it just that sort of evil-doing that you'd expect from karl rove, particularly now that his nuts are in the ringer? what absolutely perfect timing. let harriet miers continue the farce that she's in serious running for the position, knowing all along that there's no way she'd pass confirmation, then wait to pull her once the indictments come out. i hope he and libby are punished to the full extent of the law. i hope it involves a long prison sentence and everything that goes along with that.

all i want for fitz-mas are rove and libby's severed, bloody heads on a platter

cathy

p.s. - here's some stuff about alito. read it. know it. share it.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/31/politics/politicsspecial1/31cnd-casesweb.html

treehouse of horror

2005-10-31T20:39:00.000-05:00

we just returned from our big playgroup party, followed by a quick trip to see our dear friend judith and eleanor's boyfriends at our local firehouse, and, boy, everyone is completely wiped out. the collins-grauke experience went as a family of vicious, blood-thirsty leopards. how sad is it that i'm pleased that eleanor was the only child out of our 22 pint-size party-goers who would say "trick-or-treat" or even anything close to it? of course, she didn't just say it -- she screamed it -- as in "TRICK-OR-TREEEEEEEEEAT, YOU BASTARDS, NOW GIVE ME SOME CANDY, PRONTO....BWAH-HA-HA-HA!"

our photos are at - http://babygrauke.shutterfly.com

"cadaverous" cathy

801 days and counting

2005-10-14T19:59:00.000-05:00

with all of the talk about new babies, i'd like to share this photo of eleanor, taken just a few hours ago. really take it all in. unfortunately, what the camera doesn't capture are the mule kicks, the back-spinning, the goddamn screaming. i can't even begin to describe this sound other than to tell you that it's been referred to as "a sound unlike any other sound in the history of sounds." and it is.

now let me share this photo of peter with you. aah. pure sweetness and light. is there anything more calming? it's no wonder that he's known by his blues name--"smilin' pete grauke"--in our house.

well, just keep in mind that this joyful little fellow will most likely transform into the creature that you see above in about 12-24 months. if we're very lucky. why lucky? well, eleanor is probably one of the best behaved two year olds you will see in public. playgroups, parties, restaurants, shops -- she's usually the picture of composed. she has never hit or kicked or bitten anyone outside of the family. however, when she's missed her nap and has been told that she may not use mommy and daddy's camera, well that's just gonna send her right over the edge. she only has about three of these meltdowns every day. again, usually only at home and if she's particularly tired, hungry, or bored. now imagine such a meltdown at say, oh i don't know, 4:30 a.m. and maybe add a little face-clawing and thrashing-about to the mix. our house remains a spanking-free zone: 801 days and counting.

if you'd like to enjoy some very nice photos of my children, please go to http://babygrauke.shutterfly.com/. no special instructions needed this time.

cathy

ava is in the building

2005-10-12T21:44:00.000-05:00

congratulations to tommi, scott, and ellie on the birth of ava (middle name to be announced at a later date) blackwood! ava arrived by c-section on tuesday, october 11th, at 7pm. she weighed 6 lbs. 6 oz. and was 19 1/2 inches long. distinguishing features include a little cap of dark curls. was there any doubt?

"homer: 'the sooner kids talk, the sooner they talk back. [tucks maggie in] i hope you never say a word.'"

cathy

why we care - 3 october 2005

2005-10-03T12:34:00.000-05:00

so, the president's idea of a replacement for sandra day o'connor is a party-liner with no judicial experience except for a two year clerkship with a district judge (the equivalent of an intership)? i'd like to think that something was learned from the fema-michael-brown-meltdown: party loyalty does not trump qualifications.

let's take a closer look at harriet miers.

ms. miers' official white house bio

washington post article on ms. miers from june 2005

wonkette's collection of miers gossip, including a nugget regarding her supposed dating of nathan "heck-yes!" hecht (gu-ross)

some conservative comments on miers' nomination from the althouse blog that are interesting

f.y.i. - it does appear that ms. miers was a gore supporter in '88 (as was i), so there is some speculation that the gore-support is proof that miers is a compromise choice that was pre-approved by some of the dems in advance of the president's nomination. however, if you know anything about texas politics in the '80s, the democratic party included many, many folks who are no longer democrats, including phil gramm. up until the last 20 years or so, you were either a democrat or you just weren't a serious player in texas politics.

let me leave you with this final thought. harriet miers has been widely quoted as saying that george w. bush is a genius. i will grant you that he comes across as a regular guy and has an appealing no-nonsense manner, but genius? i know it's nitpicking, but something seems very wrong here. either ms. miers is a complete idiot or the biggest ass-kissing toady in a white house full of fawning boot-lickers who tote the party line, facts be damned. coupled with her lack of judicial experience, i cannot freakin' believe that this is the best that they can do.

"...anyone who puckers up their lips and presses it against their bosses buttocks and then smooches is an ass-kisser."

cathy

smells like old money

2005-10-02T18:32:00.000-05:00

inspired by the name generators at rumandmonkey, i created one of my own that combines diana's fondness for ending all nicknames with the phrase "of the hampton [insert lastname here]" and my misguided belief that adding "mc" to all lastnames instantly makes them very, very funny.

what is your old money name?

"my, that's yar"
esther mcgooglie of the hampton mcgooglies

i am assmachine jones

2005-10-02T11:48:00.000-05:00

it was a sunny, crisp autumn morning here in northwest philadelphia, so after a lovely brunch with my family, i took a little spin on the one of the many name generators offered by one of my favorite sites, rumandmonkey. (see sites under "kill time" on the right.)

the-goddamn-rock-solid-ghetto-shiznit-name-generator took the perfectly fine, but safe, catherine collins and spit out my new street moniker. an' yo, yo, yo, bitches, i am now one assmachine jones coming straight to ya from tha mean streets of west mount airy. don't disrespect tha assmachine or i will beat you down and take your ho.

what is your street name?

"word to your mutha"
assmachine jones

why we care - 26 september 2005

2005-09-26T13:18:00.000-05:00

sorry it's been so long on the s.c.o.t.u.s. nominee (soon to be nominees). the senate judiciary committee approved judge roberts' nomination by a vote of 13-5, so he must now be approved by the entire senate. (it was this point in the process that anita hill came forward during the clarence thomas nomination.) as the senate begins debating roberts' nomination today, i thought i'd share the following updates with you -

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050926/ap_on_go_su_co/roberts

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/26/opinion/26mon4.html

http://www.wonkette.com/politics/scotus/index.php

"this is a court of law, young man, not a court of justice"
cathy

the better to bite you with

2005-09-22T22:27:00.000-05:00

you may remember my post back in july when pete cut his first two teeth. he was only 5 months old at the time and i figured it was early, but no big deal. eleanor never had any problem cutting teeth -- drooling, yes, but little pain, no sleepless nights, no fever, no "fast poops,"... well, a few weeks ago, we noticed that peepers has another one coming in (front upper left). okay, then last week, it looked like another might be trying to come in (front upper right). all right. then over the weekend, we finally took a really good look and saw nubs for a total of five new teeth. dear lord. five at one time.

poor little man is in awful pain, so he's biting, chewing, attacking everything. furniture legs (no kidding), hands, the big toe of a woman in our playgroup ("oh, shit! sorry! something bit me!"), toys of course, our eleven year old cat philip (who seems to have unlimited patience for babies and none for toddlers), and, most frightening of all, my breasts. luckily, the books advise sharply telling the baby "no" (no problem there), then not letting the baby nurse for 30 minutes after the incident. i'm trying really hard.

funny how once eleanor started talking, kevin and i did a pretty good job at eliminating the profanity from our vocabularies however, i am here to tell you that today i used the f-word twice and g.d. (as in "godamnit, peter, stop!") once in the presence of my children. thank you. thank you very much.

i also yelled "crap" at allens lane park within earshot of a dozen toddlers and their keepers. you try having your nipples bit repeatedly until they bleed and see if you don't yell crap. or worse.

cathy

shameless self promotion

2005-09-18T23:04:00.000-05:00

my essay, "waiting for me," appears in the current issue of literary mama, which you can view online for the next few weeks. i've published professional (i.e. dull, dull) pieces before, but this is my first creative nonfiction piece--first submission and first acceptance--so i'm pretty excited. considering my recent bout with the shingles, pete's cutting his first four teeth all at once, and eleanor's ongoing diaper issues, this was very welcome news. you knew i'd thow in one last bitch about my shingles.

by the way, if you like what you see, you might want to check out literary mama's new anthology, called (what else?) literary mama: reading for the maternally inclined. as eleanor would say, "it's all cool, mommy."

cathy

party doll

2005-09-13T13:49:00.000-05:00

"why, hello! please come in. oh, don't mind me. this is how i always greet guests...red cowboy hat, hot pink toenails, and nothing else."

eleanor hosted her first party this morning for 13 toddlers and moms, and that was pretty much how guests were welcomed into our home. just five minutes earlier, she was wearing a lovely yellow sundress with matching bloomers and a fresh diaper, but decided that she needed to poop and that it would be so much better if she simply took a dump on the floor rather than soil a perfectly good diaper. so, off went everything. "oh, wait! let me pick up one of my many hats on the way to the door. afterall, it is a party. howdy, y'all. i nekkid"

once the poop finally came, i managed to secure a diaper on her long enough to catch it. she then preceeded to scream "stop it! no! you're hurting me! no, no, no!" while kicking my chest and flailing about as i attempted to change her. despite all of the theatrics, i think everyone had a great time -- even eleanor. no fighting over toys. no tears. no biting. lots of leaping and screaming and running and laughing and eating. everyone kinda crashed after about two hours and headed to their respective homes. goodbyes for all of our guests, but kisses for gabe and jack.

"come along and be my party doll"
cathy

man, i really stink at [fill in the blank]

2005-09-05T19:35:00.000-05:00

i'm pretty decent at some things (parallel parking, baking bread, wrapping gifts, playing board games), and i think i'm really good at others (growing violets, making soup, organizing just about anything, telling others what to do), but there are a few things that the rest of the world seems completely capable of doing and yet i can't do these things to save my life. i cannot -

grow rosemary
fry anything without setting off the smoke detector or setting myself on fire
cook tofu or eggplant so that the end product is still edible
effectively deal with sales people
speak a foreign language without feeling completely ashamed
two-step (not that i really want to)

what do you stink at?

don't labor too hard, y'all
cathy

*wondering about the photo on this post and what it has to do with anything? it's just a mugshot that made me laugh, so i thought i'd share it. totally random.

hurricane relief

2005-09-02T05:15:00.000-05:00

regular contributors will notice that there's now a link to the american red cross to help with hurricane relief efforts. many of you received the email that i sent last night regarding relief efforts going on in the tiny town of commerce in east texas. i've since learned of other, similar grassroots efforts going on throughout texas. this all reminds me of a lovely quote from anne frank -

"how wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. "

cathy

blah-blah-blah

2005-08-29T06:13:00.000-05:00

not much to report this week. i could whine about my shingles some more (which really, really hurt and look absolutely disgusting), but i won't. i could post something about the administration's stupidity (not to mention insensitivity) in its dealing with cindy sheehan or evil-crazy ann coulter's newest comment about new yorkers or the strangely silent john roberts nomination, but i just don't have the energy. so, here are a few light comments. hopefully, some of you can add thoughts of your own.

1) a much-needed break
kung fu hustle: at one time, i was right on top of all of the new chop-socky flicks, often before they were released in mainstream theaters or on video. sadly, that is no longer the case now that i have small children. kevin and i finally rented this hilarious, absurd, lightning-paced hong kong action movie by goofball auteur stephen chow. definitely worth multiple viewings. give the first ten minutes your undivided attention. here are some real reviews for those of you who need some convincing.

2) my god, what were we thinking?
an icecream social for two year olds: eleanor and i attended an icecream social hosted by a lovely, brave woman from our playgroup last week, which ended in a naked-baby romp in the pool. did we enjoy ourselves? here's a photo. you be the judge.

i have volunteered to host a much more low-key affair in mid-september. snack and crafts.

enjoy your week--
cathy

shingle-ingle-ding-dong

2005-08-23T17:25:00.000-05:00

what new disease can you expect from the woman who developed mono as an adult, contracted cat-scratch-fever from her cat, and developed ocular migraines after the birth of her first child? why, shingles, of course. the disease of the very old, the very sick, or the very tired.

apparently, i fall into that last category. after spending all morning and much of the afternoon in the emergency room for pain in my back and waist combined with a "weeping" rash, i was diagnosed with "shingles due to stress and exhaustion." two babies in 18 months is hard on the body.

since shingles can cause chicken pox, i'm trying my best not to infect eleanor and peter, which is hard since it's a nursing free-for-all around here. i'm also trying not to infect kevin, who never had chicken pox, although it's a little easier since i'm not nursing him.

let me know if you'd like any more details.

"burns like hell-fire. you son of a bitch. i'm gonna have to kill somebody now."
cathy

i choo-choo-choose you: literary tag

2005-08-18T12:15:00.000-05:00

there's this new game called literary tag. all of the cool kids are playing it and, you know me, i'm all about being up on the latest trend. the rules: if you're tagged, you must post your answers to four literary questions, then you must tag two others. (actually, you're suppose to tag five, but that just seems too much like work. so, i'm exercising my perogative and changing the rule to two.) those two others may be anyone.

1. how many books do i own?
gosh, i don't know. it's a lot. somewhere around 300-350. if you add in what kevin owns and what eleanor owns, the number is much larger. i use to buy books all of the time, but i've found that since becoming a librarian, i don't really buy anymore -- i read a lot more if i just check out a whole mess of titles out from the library at once, rather than wait around until i purchase a book. we also get a lot of free books from publishers since kevin and i both review new releases. and of course, our families are very generous.

2. last book i bought:
harry potter and the half blood prince -- purchased with an amazon gift card

3. last book i read:
i had two going at the same time during august -- little children by tom perrotta, which i read for book club and tell it slant: writing and shaping creative nonfiction

4. five books that mean a lot to me:
i don't really have favorites as i love so many books. however, if you want those titles that most shaped me as a reader, they are (in no particular order) -- the grass harp by truman capote; pride and prejudice by jane austen; to kill a mockingbird by harper lee; jane eyre by charlotte bronte; and sons and lovers by d.h. lawrence. if that list could be expanded to ten, i'd add -- profiles in courage by john f. kennedy; wuthering heights by emily bronte; little women by louisa may alcott; the world according to garp by john irving; gone with the wind by margaret mitchell. again, i'm listing the books that really shaped me and not necessarily the best books ever written (although i would argue that a few of these are).

5. tag two more:
i choo-choo-choose you, rachael and steve. you're it.

cathy

your toys are fun to touch, mine are all sticky

2005-08-17T18:14:00.000-05:00

today, we finally hauled our sorry selves up to school so that i could scan just a small portion of the eleventy-million photos that we've taken over the summer. so while i imported, scanned, saved, and uploaded, kevin, eleanor, and peter played outside by the creepy statue of the woman who looks like she'd just as soon suck the soul from you than say hello. after about an hour of scanning, i realized that i'd forgotten our most recent photos from our trip to margate beach and ocean city, which are admittedly bad, but kinda funny nonetheless. que sera.

i've uploaded the photos to our shutterfly account. to view, click on the album that interests you: strawberry festival; more photos from texas; eleanor's birthday; and misc. photos. once the window opens, click on "view pictures," then "view as a slideshow."

finally, let me leave you with the following side-by-side of eleanor (taken in late june of this year) and me (taken sometime around 1968, i believe). i'll post a side-by-side of kevin and peter sometime soon.

cathy

disturbing baby nicknames

2005-08-15T20:56:00.000-05:00

i am fessin' up, y'all. these are all nicknames that i have at one time given to one of my children. in the interest of fairness, i have not included the notorious b.b.t., big baby tiny, tiny, mr. peepers, peepers, or peeps, since many of you are pretty familiar with these equally bizarre names. try and match the baby to her or his moniker: wienie-man; stinky pinky; sir shits-a-lot; one sexy baby; el, you is my woman; peep-stone (a random reference to a book that kevin and i read a while back); big booty baby; pampers mcpampers; bette davis eyes; sass; sassy lassy; toots shore; tooty mcfruity; fat-bottom baby, you make the rockin' world go 'round (get in your dipes and cry!). the following names are even odder (oh, let's be honest--creepy) when you know that i used them while lying in bed, nursing said child: my lover; loverboy; lover; snuggle bunny; my make-out partner.

i'm sure that we'll all be awfully embarrassed by this when sir shits-a-lot and one sexy baby are teens, but they're too small to protest much right now. please feel free to comment or just ignore completely. i'm a little punchy from staying up with a teething pete.

cathy

damn you, bacon

2005-08-15T12:47:00.000-05:00

oh, sweet, delicious bacon--how could i ever stay mad at you? i broke down and bought pre-cooked bacon yesterday for the first time in a mighty long time. like the siren's song, that salted, nitrate-filled, bit of pork fat called to me and i succumbed. and this morning, i found myself crouching behind the fridge door, scarfing down a tender little strip under the guise of getting more milk for my two year old. was i trying to spare her from the heartbreak of clogged arteries? no. i didn't want to share my precious. now pardon me while i search for a tissue to wipe my greasy mouth.

cathy

she flies through the air

2005-08-14T14:17:00.000-05:00

. . . with the greatest of ease, that daring mother on the flying trapeze. this morning, after eating my bowl of raisin bran and nursing pete, i left the house to do something so unusual, so physically taxing, and so very out-of-character for me. i took a trapeze lesson on a 23' aerial rig. and, yes, i was actually able to haul my 40 year old self--including the extra 6 lbs. of baby weight that i'm still carrying around--off the ground and into the air. shana, a very talented and patient woman from our playgroup, is a professional aerialist who performs in the philadelphia area and gives lessons from her home.

boy, was it cool. and it completely kicked my ass. aerial work has to be one of the best total body workouts. not surprisingly, you need minimal coordination, a little upper body strength, and a lack of self-consciousness--none of which i posess in spades--but little else is required. you'll work your arms, legs, feet, hands, lower back, and lungs. the only thing that i can compare it to is two hours of yoga with blaine, followed by an hour on the stationary rowing machine. and, tommi, there was no chow-down at furr's afterward, so it was like a real workout. if you're interested, here's some more information - http://www.airplaytrapeze.com/article1.htm

since it's sunday and all, i thought that i would god-up my sign-off.

"there's nothing an agnostic can't do if he doesn't know whether he believes in anything or not"
cathy

why we care - 8 august 2005

2005-08-08T07:34:00.000-05:00

although it's not really about judge roberts, there's a very interesting article in the most recent issue of the new yorker about senate minority leader harry reid that might provide some insight into what we can expect during the nomination process. reid's blunt assessment of the bush white house, as well as his straight talk about nearly everything else, is more than a little surprising. reid also has something to say about roberts. go to - http://tinyurl.com/85b6k

in related news, there's been a lot of talk this week about roberts' work as an advisor in one of the landmark gay rights cases. that's right -- he advised the good guys. go to - http://tinyurl.com/8saqa

that's all i've got for now. please add your own links, comments, etc.

"i'm off like a dirty shirt"
cathy

eat this

2005-08-02T19:39:00.000-05:00

for a change of pace, how about a recipe swap? post whatever you'd like (entre, appetizer, dessert). i'll start with an old favorite that i'd never attempted on my own until last sunday - momma's meatloaf. i've made a few alterations of my own, and i have to say that it's awfully yummy. kevin, eleanor, and i polished off the whole thing in one meal!

momma's meatloaf, version 2005

1 pound of ground turkey (93% fatfree)
1/2 sauteed diced green bell pepper
1/2 sauteed diced medium onion
1/4 cup sauteed shredded, then finely chopped carrot
1 egg
1/2 cup of finely ground bread crumbs (or 8 crushed saltines)
1 tablespoon of worcestershire sauce
8 ounce can of tomato sauce
salt & black pepper

pre-heat the oven for 400 degrees. saute the bell pepper, onion, and carrot in a nonstick pan using a small pat of butter, then set aside the cooked veggies to cool. combine all of the ingredients (except for the tomato sauce) in a large mixing bowl. add 1/2 of the tomato sauce and fold into the mixture. let stand for 30 minutes. form mixture into a loaf in the bottom of a large pyrex baking dish. place in the middle of the oven and bake for 60 minutes (or until the center of the loaf reaches 170 degrees). let cool. slice and serve. mashed potatoes (with skins on) and fresh sweet corn on the cob make great side dishes.

"never eat more than you can lift"
cathy

why we care - 31 july 2005

2005-07-31T22:51:00.000-05:00

here's the latest and greatest on the roberts' nomination to s.c.o.t.u.s. please, please feel free to post your own.

"nomination stirs a debate on federalists' sway"
ny times, 1 august 2005
http://tinyurl.com/78rss
"newsweek's woes, con't."
the huffington post, 28 july 2005
http://tinyurl.com/dr5sp
"mrs. roberts wears the pants"
wonkette, 26 july 2005
http://tinyurl.com/c6lah

"i don't mind being called a liar when i am lying, when i am about to lie or just finished lying... but not when i am telling the truth."
cathy

protecting childhood and free speech: mutually exclusive?

2005-07-31T14:15:00.000-05:00

in this morning's ny times, popular teen-lit author ann brashares talks about the placement of literature written for teenagers in the children's section. (currently, many libraries and bookstores maintain "young adult" sections, but these sections are usually within the larger children's section.) in proposing a new publishing category for young adult literature, brashares undoubtedly will receive letters warning that what she's proposed is censorship, or will ghetto-ize such books, or will drive down sales. however, as brashares points out, the creation of a new genre outside of children's publishing could, in fact, destigmatize teen-lit and actually increase teen readership.

as a parent who also happens to be a librarian, i find myself revisiting this issue (and several issues) and approaching it in a slightly different way than i might have ten or even five years ago. while i don't want my daughter or son at seven years of age perusing books like rainbow party, i also don't want to limit access to these books or discourage readership so that fewer young adult books are published. yes, it's the parent's responsibility to monitor her/his child's reading habits. but, there's a reason that seven year olds don't attend school with fifteen year olds. in an ideal world, we'll always know what our children read and watch, we'll have open, frank discussions with them, and we'll all love and respect eachother. of course, i live in the real world, and i only hope that my children will grow up in an environment where intellectual thought is valued, where free speech is protected, and where children are nurtured. these goals should not be incompatible.

to read brashares' op-ed piece, go to - http://tinyurl.com/cbgtu

cathy

strange days in philly

2005-07-27T19:16:00.000-05:00

maybe it's the weather. maybe not. but something weird is definitely going on.

three weeks ago, peter had his four month check-up. at that time, the doctor said that pete's a long way off from sprouting any teeth. what broke through this evening? his bottom two front teeth. uh-huh. that's right, baby. mr. peepers can now bite.

i ran into the bathroom to tell kevin, who was bathing eleanor. before I could say anything, kevin blurted out, "you'll never believe this. eleanor asked to get out of the tub to poop, and then DID IT! just now. right in the little potty." what's so odd is that we weren't planning on trying to potty train until next year. i only bought the potty chair at the doctor's suggestion. it's been sitting in the kids' bathroom since february, collecting dust and acting as a repository for various small toys, blocks, etc. in short, everything but poop. of course, she probably won't duplicate this feat for another twelve months, but it was terribly exciting.

"kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. the lesson is, never try."
cathy

old bones

2005-07-25T11:00:00.000-05:00

happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear diana, happy birthday to you! happy birthday, bones. don't fret. connie and i will always be older than you.

love,
cathy

confederate states of america: the movie

2005-07-25T08:11:00.000-05:00

the trailer for kevin willmott's "confederate states of america" is now available on ifilm. c.s.a. is a mockumentary (man, i hate that word) of what the u.s. might look like if the south had won. the film was well-received at sundance in 2004. as a white, liberal southerner, i am outraged...entertained...no outraged...no entertained.

"you can tell your grandchildren about how you watched the old south fall one night."
cathy

"i'll be takin' these huggies, and whatever cash ya got."

2005-07-22T12:25:00.000-05:00

With the arrival of Tommi's "Player to be Named at a Later Date" fast approaching, I thought it would be useful and fun if we blogged about our favorite baby products. I have several other friends expecting babies as well, so I went ahead and put together a massive list of my picks. Please feel free to comment or add to. -Cathy

DIAPERS: Pampers Swaddlers are the best infant diapers on the market. We've tried many, many different brands. The others will leak, disintegrate, cause diaper rash, or fall off. Swaddlers are wonderful, wonderful. I'd like to travel the country doing testimonials or write an op-ed in The New York Times praising the wonders of Pampers. When the baby outgrows Swaddlers (at size 3, I think), go with the Pampers Cruisers, which is the larger version of the Swaddlers. Both have very little plastic, fit like a glove, and rarely leak. Once the baby is big enough for Cruisers, you could try Huggies with Gigglastic (try saying Gigglastic without cringing), which are a little cheaper. These have worked for Pete, but didn't work so well for Eleanor. By the way, hold off on buying diapers until the baby arrives. The hospital will send you home with several freebies. Although both kids wore size "N" in the hospital, Pete needed "1" by the time we were discharged, although Eleanor wore "N" for the next few weeks.

WIPES: We only use scent-free, alcohol-free. I've never noticed much of a difference among brands, so I usually buy the cheapest. By the way, if you have a winter baby, invest in a wipes warmer. We have the Prince Lionheart warmer (thanks for the tip, Diana). Also, if your baby has super sensitive skin (like Eleanor), you may need to use cottonballs or cosmetic pads dipped in water (instead of wipes) for the first few weeks.

BABY SOAP/SHAMPOO: We like the old standard, Johnson's. We also love Baby Magic Calming Foaming Milk Bath with lavender.

DIAPER CREAM: Our kids never had diaper rash, and I'm convinced that the diapers and the cream (Aquaphor) that we used were the reason.

LOTION: Both kids have eczema, thanks to those weak Grauke genes, so we had to try several lotions before finally finding something that helped. Johnson's pink lotion worked fine for Pete, but not Eleanor. Burt's Bees for Baby worked when Eleanor was a newborn, but not when she got a little bigger. Aveeno's daily moisturizer works really well for them both.

POWDER: I have an unopened, two year old container of Johnson's Cornstarch Baby Powder sitting in our bathroom. Our kids have never needed powder.

FORMULA: None. I nursed both of my children and never bought formula. The hospital sent home a free sample, which we used as a supplement for Eleanor during the first few days.

BOTTLES: We own four 4-oz. and two 9-oz. Aventi bottles for Kevin to use when feeding the babies expressed milk. We don't need a lot of bottles since I nurse most of the time.

BREAST PUMP: We use an electric, double-pump Ameda with traveling case, which I love. I inherited it from Connie (we bought new replacement tubing, bottles, and other parts because of hygiene). You can also rent, but, if you're planning on nursing one child for more than a few months or planning on having more than one child, you might consider purchasing a pump. The small, manual pumps do the job in a pinch, but can take forever to express more than a mouthful of milk.

DIAPER PAIL: There are some new brands on the market that claim to rival Diaper Genie, but, frankly, I can't imagine that they're any better. We love our Diaper Genie and consider it the most essential of our baby gear. Kevin says, "Buy the refills two at a time because there's no way to tell when they're about to run out; they just run out." And then you're screwed.

CRIB: As long as it meets current US safety requirements, most new cribs are fine. (So, fight that urge to use your old crib, even if it breaks your mother's heart.) We have the inexpensive Jenny Lind model (in white) sold at Babies 'R Us, mainly because it goes with our nursery's retro look. Just make sure that the crib is a standard US size so bedding won't be a problem.

CRIB MATTRESS: There are primarily two types of mattresses - 1) light and cheap 2) heavy and expensive. I've read that the baby doesn't do any better on one or the other -- bedding is more important. I wanted to be able to easily lift and change the mattress, so we went with the light and cheap mattress, then splurged on nice bedding. I know folks who have also bought the expensive model.

CRIB BEDDING: We have a hypoallergenic mattress pad that has no plastic in it, which I love. I also bought 100% cotton sheets (two crib sheets are plenty) and a bumper pad. Nothing else (no blankets, quilts, toys, etc.) should be in the crib until the baby is older.

PORTABLE CRIB: We have a Pac-n-Play, which is the most popular brand. It has a removable bassinet insert in the top, which we used for both kids for the first several months when they slept in our room with us. We also use it for traveling. My kids do not like playpens, so I've not used it for that, although it's one of the approved uses. Whatever you get, make sure that it is light enough that you can carry it one-handed and that it comes with a travel cover. Also, don't forget to buy a sheet or two for it -- portable cribs don't use standard crib sheets. See if anyone you know has used the co-sleeper that attaches to your bed -- I've read great things. We simply pushed the Pac-n-Play next to my side of the bed.

CRIB MOBILE: We have a wonderful mobile -- it's the Tiny Love Symphony-Motion (there are several models, but this is the animal mobile with the frog, monkey, and bird -- and doesn't leak battery acid). Try to get something that runs on batteries, has more than one choice of music, and has more than one volume setting. (FYI: I recently participated in a review of new baby gear and learned that some upcoming mobile models will include MP3 players. You might look for them.)

DIAPER BAG: We love our Combi Urban Sling in black. It doesn't look like a diaper bag, holds a ton of stuff, is washable, and is so very cool. You'll also be given a free bag at the hospital -- it's small and cheap (and sometimes ugly), but you can use it until you find something better. We actually keep our hospital freebie in the bottom of the big stroller, where it's filled with diapers, wipes, and a few snacks -- it's just for the park. That way, our good bag doesn't get as dirty.

BABY CARRIER: We have a black Baby Bjorn, which has worked very well for us. I feel very secure wearing the baby whether I'm doing housework or walking to the park. I've even managed to learn the trick of nursing in it. I've never used a sling, but I know several people who love them -- they just never looked particularly secure for use outside of the house. Ask around.

CAR SEATS: Both of our kids use Graco carseats. Email me if you want to know which models and why we went with these. It's too long to go into here. If you're considering purchasing the three-in-one type, definitely email me.

STROLLER: I don't care what anyone says -- you will need a minimum of two strollers, maybe three if you're active. We first bought the black Graco City Lite (not the Metro Lite) which is small, sturdy, and light-weight, folds easily, reclines flat for newborn use, and holds children up to 40 lbs. It's a great urban stroller, and we're still using it. When Eleanor turned about ten months old, we also bought a cheap ($10) umbrella stroller for short trips to the mall, etc. When Pete turns six months old, we're investing in a big-daddy double jogging stroller (probably the Instep Safari) for heavy-duty outdoor use since Kevin and I both do a lot of walking out of doors with the kids. If you purchase a jogging stroller, you'll want to make sure that your sidewalks are even and wide enough to accommodate the bigger size or else you'll need access to a jogging track or trail. Also make sure that the front wheel of your jogger swivels (most don't) or you'll have to raise the front end of your stroller everytime you want to turn.

INFANT TOYS: What's great about newborns is that they don't need or want toys -- just your pretty faces. Once the baby is big enough to be able to grasp things, you should consider buying a Lamaze cube. These nifty toys have handles, are brightly colored, and make a gentle tinkling sound when shaken. Another nice toy is a small, padded mirror for the crib that can either be attached to the crib bars or laid flat in the crib when baby's awake. Neither of my kids liked rattles much, although both seem to love plastic links (especially while teething).

PACIFIERS: Both of mine are big “bebe” users and neither would use any thing but the silicone MAM (a Sassy brand). Don't get anything with a handle -- the baby will only use it to pull the pacifier out of her/his mouth.

PREGNANCY BOOKS: I have two favorites - 1000 Questions about Your Pregnancy (by Thurston) and Your Pregnancy Week-by-Week (by Curtis and Schuler). I hate What to Expect When You're Expecting because of the miscarriage information.

NURSING BOOK: I would be lost without The Nursing Mother's Companion (by Huggins), which, in my opinion, is the very best of the nursing books.

CHILDCARE BOOKS: We have the three volume set of Dr. Brazleton's books, which I loved initially, but have found to be less useful as the kids get older. Connie and Steve gave me the amazing Taking Care of Your Child: A Parent's Guide to Complete Medical Care, which we have used countless times when trying to decide what's normal, when to call the doctor, etc.

WEBSITES: There are a ton of useful sites out there. The one that I consult almost weekly is Babycenter <http://www.babycenter.com> -- consider signing up for their free, weekly newsletter that's tailored to your child's specific age. I also coughed up the few dollars each month and subscribed to the monthly, online version of Consumer Reports <http://www.consumerreports.org> so I could check on baby products (ratings, as well as recalls). Another good site (particularly for behaviorial stuff) is Your Child at the University of Michigan <http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/yourchild/index.htm>. If any of you are planning to stay home for an extended period of time, let me know. I also have some good resources for the stay-at-home parent.

but is he a sabres fan?

2005-07-19T18:47:00.000-05:00

about two minutes ago, cbs news announced that the white house has released the name of the president's nominee. it's john g. roberts, not edith clement. here's some more information on roberts - http://www.dkosopedia.com/index.php/John_G._Roberts_Jr

roberts, a buffalo native and harvard grad, is a judge on the u.s. court of appeals for the district of columbia. from what i've read of his record, he supports prayer at public school graduations, opposes federal funding to hospitals that counsel patients (including victims of rape) on abortion services, and is an opponent of environmental protection laws when business and property rights are threatened. conservative, white, male. no surprise here.

cathy

edie from the big easy

2005-07-19T13:42:00.000-05:00

tonight at 9 p.m. (et), the president is scheduled to announce his nominee for the o'connor vacancy . rumor is that it will be a woman and, if "they" are right, that woman will be judge edith brown clement of the 5th u.s. circuit court of appeals in new orleans.

here's what cnn says about clement - "...nominated to the court by president bush in september 2001 and confirmed by the senate two months later...a member of the federalist society...tenure as a federal judge began in 1991 when president bush's father nominated her to a seat on the u.s. district court, eastern district of louisiana...served as chief judge in that district in 2001 before moving to the 5th circuit...born in 1948 in birmingham, alabama...graduated from the university of alabama in 1969...received her law degree in 1972 from tulane...clerked for a federal judge in until 1975, when she entered private practice in new orleans specializing in maritime law. "

what i like about a potential clement appointment: her specialization is "maritime law," which always sounds so quaint and comforting, and she's female. um, that's about it.

what i'm most concerned about: so many things to choose from, but i guess her involvement with the federalist society, an extremely conservative special interest group, is a good palce to start. don't take my word for it -- check out the group's site at - http://www.fed-soc.org/ourpurpose.htm for detailed information on judge clement, check out dKosopedia at http://www.dkosopedia.com/index.php/Edith_Brown_Clement, where you can read about her abilities and record, which, really, are all that should matter.

"you're out of order! you're out of order! the whole trial is out of order!"
cathy

potted & besotted

2005-07-18T19:46:00.000-05:00

diana and i are members of an exclusive club. what, you'd like to join? well, i don't know. are you cool enough? i mean, only the really cool kids can claim membership in the i-finished-reading-the-latest-harry-potter-installment-in-less-than-36-hours club. oh, you didn't? i'm sorry.

what the hey, you can join anyway. so as not to spoil the book for anyone who doesn't sit down and read a book in one or two sittings, only stopping for the occasional bathroom break and phonecall from her equally obsessed sister, i'll post under the comments of this thread. you've been warned. there will be spoilers.

"to harry potter: the boy who lived!"
cathy

ps: the above image of "the boy who lived" is courtesy of the ministry of magic portrait gallery.

why we care - 18 july 2005

2005-07-18T13:19:00.000-05:00

sorry this post is a few days late. i've been reading the latest harry potter and i only finished it last night. for those of you interested in discussing the identity of r.a.b. and other things potter, let me know and we can do that on another thread.

not much happened this week related to the s.c.o.t.u.s. nomination since most of washington has been involved one way or another in distracting the public with the plame scandal. the newest revelations, in a nutshell, are: 1) rove claims to have only confirmed what reporter matt cooper told him; 2) cheney's right-hand-man, scooter libby, has been identified as cooper's other source; and 3) the president has changed his position on leaky staff members...he will fire anyone in his administration who commits a crime (he previously stated that he'd cut loose anyone who leaks). those are some pretty high standards for working in the white house - don't commit a crime while you're working here. craving a little more detail? here's an article that appeared over the weekend - http://tinyurl.com/dx4hq (f.y.i. - this is a ny times article, so you may be asked to register -- registration is free).

regarding the s.c.o.t.u.s. vacancy, here's an interesting article on the senate judiciary committee chair's (arlen specter) take on who should be nominated - http://tinyurl.com/8qwtt (another ny times article). while reading this, keep in mind that specter is considered a liberal in his own party (which means that he's actually a pretty moderate, reasonable fellow), and it was questionable whether he'd even be appointed chair. not the president's favorite senator and unlikely to influence the choice.

"how 'bout a nice greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray?"
cathy

oh-oh the u.p.s. truck is a-coming down the street, oh please let it stop for me

2005-07-13T15:02:00.000-05:00

anyone else expecting a special package from amazon on saturday? it's like the wells fargo delivery in the music man around here. and, boy, do i need that. i am so beaten down by the babies today, so i really appreciated the following short film by andy dick (courtesy of the boys at ifilm). enjoy.

harlan mccraney: presidential speechalist (2005)
http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2675149

"i am big. it's the pictures that got small."
cathy

why karl rove is the devil

2005-07-12T12:50:00.000-05:00

shocking. absolutely shocking. so karl rove is the infamous inside white house source who exposed valerie plame as a covert cia operative. it will be interesting to see what action, if any, the u.s. justice department and/or the white house will take. afterall, it is a crime to knowingly expose an agent, and when novak's article came out and rove's name was first floated as a possible source, the white house stated that, "if anyone in this administration was involved in it, they would no longer be in this administration." (9/29/03, white house press briefing)

hmmm.

of course, this isn't the first time that rove has leaked to novak as retaliation. the houston chronicle, texas monthly, and esquire have all run stories in the past regarding rove's vindictiveness. for a good laugh, or cry depending on your mood, check out mydd or any one of the many other poli-blogs out there. your day of reckoning is coming, big boy.

now excuse me while i go fish a small piece of plastic (part of a jewel case?) out of a toddler's mouth--
cathy

* thanks to liberalrevolt.com for the awesome photoshopped (or is it?) image of rove.

why we care - 8 july 2005

2005-07-08T22:59:00.000-05:00

today marks the first post on the new discussion thread, "why we care," which focuses on the *scotus nomination and confirmation process. i've located a few interesting, informative pieces that, hopefully, won't put you to sleep like one too many gin gimlets. (mmm, gimlets.) if you're like me, you haven't paid too much attention to the o'connor replacement this week, what with the terrorist attack in london. that, and spending every moment of your waking hours trying so hard not to whip your children. so, here's your fix for the week. if you have anything you'd like to share or comment on, please do.

an article from slate: "the supreme court shortlist: who's likely to replace o'connor?" by bazelon and newman. 1 july 2005. <http://www.slate.com/id/2121270/> (accessed 6 july 2005)
an op-ed from the new york times: "disorder in the court" by stephen carter. 3 july 2005. <http://tinyurl.com/bxqv8> (accessed 6 july 2005)
a silly, albeit informative, blog on scotus along the lines of wonkette: underneath their robes. <http://tinyurl.com/djaq8> (accessed 8 july 2005).
a somewhat more serious blog on scotus: scotus blog. <http://www.scotusblog.com/movabletype/> (accessed 8 july 2005)

and here's some totally unrelated nonsense that i think you'll enjoy -

the guardian's short short stories by dave egger: <http://tinyurl.com/2u8zl> (accessed 6 july 2005) -- the perfect way to fill that empty 5-10 minute opening on your schedule--you know, the one between checking your email and listening in on your officemate's conversation
jon stewart intelligence agency (formerly the jon stewart estrogen brigade): <http://www.jonstewart.net/> (accessed 6 july 2005) -- because there is no such thing as too much

seacrest out
cathy

*scotus = supreme court of the united states

fat babies ain't got no pride

2005-07-06T11:00:00.000-05:00

...or so says lyle lovett. peter had his four month check-up today with dr. m., and, despite what every other stranger on the street has offered up, he weighs no where close to 2000 lbs. he's a healthy 16 1/2 lbs. and 26 inches, which places him in the 90th percentile for four-month old boys. it's fascinating how different he and eleanor are. he consumes the same amount of the same stuff that his chronically dainty/petite/tiny/wisp-of-a-girl/"are you feeding her enough?" older sister did at the same age, and, yet, his development has been so different. he's perfectly pete -- exactly as he should be.

stay gold, ponyboy
mommy/cathy

why we care

2005-07-02T18:19:00.000-05:00

on friday, sandra day o'connor announced her resignation from the supreme court, and, holy jeebus, it promises to be one long, hot summer. beginning friday, july 8th, kevin and i will start posting information on the nominee, as well as other useful and related information under the thread "why we care." the title is borrowed from frank capra's ww2 series "why we fight." i know. it sounds so hokey, but, frankly, we should all care a lot. this appointment, as well as the appointment of chief justice rehnquist's eventual successor, will impact all of our lives for a long time to come. o'connor has done something that few on the court can claim -- represented the vast majority of americans with her mostly reasonable, middle-of-the-road opinions. i strongly encourage you all to contribute relevant information, including links to news stories, interesting websites, your opinions. of course, the light, trivial posts will continue. in the meantime, here's a little background to get us all up-to-speed -

cnn's law center, "a sensible justice." accessed 1 july 2005, http://tinyurl.com/dvmy9
the new york times, "confirmation battle in the senate could define specter's career." accessed 2 july 2005, http://tinyurl.com/acn4r
wonkette, "no successor til after july 8" accessed 2 july 2005, http://tinyurl.com/blwzq

on a related note, i'd like your opinion(s) on a possible change to our blog. given the serious thread that we're starting next week and in an effort to encourage dialogue, what do you think about opening up the blog beyond family? there are about 7 or 8 of us who regularly post now. it might be fun if we allow others to post as well. i will only open it up to outside postings if we're all comfortable. so, let me know by thursday, july 7th. if you don't comment, i'll assume that you're okay with the idea. we can each then invite friends, acquaintances, coworkers, etc. to participate. i trust your judgement as to who would enjoy this sort of thing. if someone wants to lurk, that's also cool.

happy 4th
cathy

our waltz across texas

2005-07-02T13:15:00.000-05:00

about 12 hours after arriving in dallas, we hopped into a minivan with diana and her brood for the seven hour trip to yellow town. we saw a lot of family, visited palo duro canyon, ate what seemed like a side of beef at outlaws, and sweated -- a lot. the kids rode grandpa's tractor, hung out with melvin and ethel (the donkeys), blew some dusty bubbles, and played the slot machine in grandpa's renovated caboose. the caboose is sort of a boys' clubhouse -- think "he-man woman haters club" from the little rascals.

after returning to dallas, we saw even more family and friends over the next several days, including: a visit from tommi and scott which included a massive exchange of baby/kids clothing; a trip to the dallas world aquarium with the grauke-mclaughlin-cannon crew; swimming with jake, grant, and vivian followed by lunch and naps for all; and a kelly clan get-together at our favorite kid-friendly eatery, ez's. peter and i then hopped a plane to chicago for four days at the annual american library association conference, where we hung out with 30,000 other librarians and visited with an old college friend of mine, siva, over surprisingly decent mexican food. kevin, in the meantime, returned to philly while eleanor remained in dallas with the ellises, learning to say "mine," pull hair, and in general be a big girl under the tutelage of mademoiselle vivian. pete and i returned to dallas to pick up el and enjoy even more family time (including a card-making party with connie and diana if you can imagine us doing anything so girlie) before returning home.

both kids seem to handle everything really well until our return flight home which resulted in a total, awful, embarrassing meltdown when our plane was delayed after boarding. we sat on the tarmac at dfw in 100 degree heat for two and a half hours before our three hour flight. the snacks that i'd packed ran out quickly, pete had one of those explosive poops, and el decided that she was not sitting in her carseat, goddamnit. the sweet man who sat next to me was a pediatrician with two kids of his own, thank god. everyone must have hated us -- i know that i would have.

a mighty big "thank you" goes out to everyone for making time to see us, feed us, and entertain us. in particular, i'd like to thank charles, diana, grant, and vivian for letting us overrun their house and overturn their lives for two weeks.

just can't get enough? check out some of diana's photos from our trip at http://share.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=EeAOGTFy4btHDio -- once there, don't forget to 1) click on "view pictures;" 2) click on page "2" of the album; 3) click on "view as a slideshow." my pictures probably won't be online for another two weeks.

cathy

ps: check-out today's favorite blog go fug yourself under "blogs we love." my favorite feature is the britney spears journal entries.

home again, home again, jiggity jig

2005-06-30T12:22:00.000-05:00

home. exhausted. it was great seeing everyone back in texas. i'll have a new post very soon. in the meantime, enjoy this extremely unflattering photo of me that was taken by (i suspect) charles. you'll have to imagine the sound of my snores since there's no audio to accompany this.

cathy

and now for something completely different

2005-06-06T14:18:00.000-05:00

kevin and i are working on a joint-post, which should go up over the weekend, if not sooner. in the meantime, here's something light and silly for us all to enjoy.

share three things about yourself that most people don't know. no big, dark secrets, please. i'll get things rolling.

1. if you need a fire built, i'm your gal. fireplaces, bonfires, doesn't matter. as my sisters can tell you, some of us are hunters and some of us are gatherers, but only a few of us are master fire builders.

2. i play a lot of scrabble. kevin and i started playing regularly in buffalo, and it's become a habit. a nice alternative to watching television. just last week, i finally broke the 300-point mark for a single game. woo-hoo.

3. i once ingested a bottle of drano. i was about a year old and grabbed a bottle from under the sink while mother was chasing down our dog who'd escaped. obviously, this was before child safety caps. hint: drink iced tea, not milk or syrup of ipecac. gee, is there anything that iced tea doesn't cure?

cathy

the world according to...

2005-05-27T22:21:00.000-05:00

recently, d-day/charles teasingly asked why someone (me) would think that he's a liberal. he also asked what constitutes a liberal and a conservative in my opinion. interesting questions. it got me thinking about what my closest friends and family members believe and whether there are some significant differences among us. so, do we dare discuss one of the no-no topics, politics, and can we discuss it without pissing off eachother? yes, i think so. let's give it a try. i'll make the first post easy. feel free to participate, simply lurk, or skip this discussion thread altogether.

first question on this thread, what is your party affiliation and why? (no "independents," please. i don't buy that. most everyone tends to vote with a particular party the majority of the time, even if we delude ourselves that we're independent. of course, maybe you can convince us otherwise. that would be interesting.)

the world according to cathy

party affiliation: i'm a democrat. i've been a democrat since i was asked to write about watergate for forman elementary's time capsule.

significant moments in my political development: the aforementioned time capsule; being pushed to the ground on the belmar elementary playground for voting for carter in our class straw poll; stealing reagan yard signs when carter ran for re-election; announcing in my high school sociology class that reagan would get us all killed; being elected a gary hart delegate to the state convention in '84; moving to austin and everything after that. am i a yellow-dog democrat? it depends. i would rather vote for an old, mangy, yellow dog than a republican, but that only applies if i'm living in the south. in other parts of the country (most notably new york), where moderate and even, yes, liberal republicans exist, i might consider crossing party lines. maybe. naaah.

why i am what i am: periodically, i make a point of thinking about why i've chosen to identify myself as a democrat (and a liberal and a feminist and an environmentalist, but those are discussions for a later time). here's the short answer -

1) i'm pro-choice. i define "pro-choice" as the right to choose if and when you bring a child into the world. so, by that definition, pro-choice encompasses access to all aspects of family planning, including sex education, birth control, and abortion. for me, pro-choice is pro-family.

2) i support the death penalty, but in a very limited form and not as it is currently administered--particularly in texas, florida, and virginia, where an offender is more likely to receive the death sentence if he/she is poor and black. i do not think the death penalty is an effective deterrent.

3) i support placing limits on industry and development in order to protect our natural resources. if we don't have clean water to drink or clean air to breathe, what's the point?

4) i support government assistance for the poor and in-need. i fully believe that "a society is judged by how it treats the most vulnerable among its citizens." (gandhi?)

5) i support the separation of church and state, particularly in the area of public education. no vouchers, no organized prayer, no posting of the ten commandments in classrooms, and no teaching "intelligent design" or creationism.

okay, those of you who've been itchin' to post something political can do so now. i still love you all.

cathy

*the notorious b.b.t. & mr. peepers all grown up

2005-05-19T11:30:00.000-05:00

check out these new photos of peter and his soon to be smaller, big sister, eleanor. feel free to gush and/or post a link to photos of your own children, pets, or other loved ones. we would all love to see a photo of tommi's expanding belly, the most recent ultrasound of baby ferg-wood, a photo of rachael's new puppy or, better yet, updated photos of our three ornery nephews and beautiful niece.

unsure how to view photos in shutterfly?

click on the "new photos" link above
click on "view pictures"
click on page "2" of the album
click on "view as a slideshow"

cathy
*the notorious big baby tiny, a.k.a. eleanor

it's a simon & garfunkel sort of day

2005-05-15T09:14:00.000-05:00

and no one dared disturb the sound of silence
it's sunday, and after a cranky, crabby morning for everyone but pete, both babies are napping and kevin's attending his first graduation as faculty. finally, he gets to wear the really ornate regalia that phds traditionally wear, including the velvet-trimmed robes and hood. cool. by the way, for those of you who have seen the beard and (slightly) longer hair, they are both gone. kevin had his nasty hair cut yesterday and shaved the beard (which i thought looked nice) on friday. even though he only grew the beard in early march, eleanor was still a little surprised to see his clean-shaven face.

someone told me it's all happening at the zoo
yesterday, we made our second trip to the philadelphia zoo -- two trips in one week. kind of like an all-you-can-eat-buffet, we hope to use/abuse our new year-long pass as much as possible. (f.y.i. : our pass covers admission for four adults and three children to over 100 zoos and aquariums in the u.s., including the dallas zoo, so we may plan an outing there in june.) peter slept the entire three hour visit, and eleanor was alert, engaged, happy to be there, and easy to manage. she was even willing to hang out with the goats in the petting zoo unlike the first trip that she and i made with our playgroup on thursday. i find it a little funny that the giraffes, horses, gorillas, and peacocks (one of which walked alongside our stroller within grabbing distance) didn't phase her, but she was a little leary of the goats on our first trip -- not scared, but suspicious, sort of "what do those ugly little goats think they're doing?" eleanor sang â€śba, ba, black sheepâ€ť to the sheep, winnied at the ponies, and gave a big â€śhello, zebras!â€ť to the you-know-whats.

preserve your memories, they're all that's left you
for those of you anxious to see eleanor and peter (and who isn't), we've taken four rolls of film over the last month, which we hope to get developed this week. we'll post some photos online, and, of course, send some to grandma, mammaw and pawpaw, and grandpa david. by the way, in case you're wondering when you see the pictures, yes, pete has gotten very big, very quickly. his hands are huge -- meaty and wide like a defenseman's, which will be good for passing and clearing the zone when he's known as pete "iceman" grauke. he's also got this really long torso, so poop has been shooting out of the tops of his size 2 diapers all week. we had to go ahead and move him up to the size 3 pampers cruisers this weekend, which surprised us both since he's only 11 weeks old. to put this into perspective, eleanor currently wears a size 4 and queen vivian (she of the 90+ percentile) was wearing a size 5 until switching to pull-ups very recently. also on the pete-front, that dark hair that he was born with seems to be falling out, and it looks like it's being replaced with sandy/gold-colored hair like eleanor's (and mine and kevin's). his eye lashes are still dark and long, like eleanor's, and his eyes are big and brown like eleanor's, but slightly darker. more and more smiles and cooing each day. pete continues to be our happy, easy-going, lazy buddha baby with little of the seriousness or nonstop energy that sister had at this age.

home, where my thought's escaping
lastly, our trip to texas is fast approaching. we arrive on june 14th (less than a month away). kevin returns to philly on the 22nd, but the babies and i hang around until the 29th (with trips to yellow-town and chicago thrown in). our schedule is getting very full, very quickly, so if you're planning any kind of â€śeventâ€ť for us, you might let one of us know now so we can set aside some time, particularly if you want to see kevin since he'll be in dallas less than the rest of us.

nothing else to report at this time. thanks to connie for posting her "recommends" list. it was an entertaining read, connie marie! i've heard rumors that others may post their "recommends" as well. stay tuned.

all is groovy,
cathy

p.s. : "garden state" is a waste of two hours. excellent music and nice visuals, but pretentious and amateurish with some truly horrible dialog. kevin has renamed it "garden stank." anyone feel differently?

freefaunch recommends

2005-05-11T14:24:00.000-05:00

(a total rip-off of mcsweeney's)
McSweeney's is a hip, funny, smart site that's worth checking out if you've never checked it out before. Recently, they posted a list of things they recommend. Some things are predictable, like recommending films and cds, while others are ridiculous, like recommending the benefits of â€śchilling the f**k out.â€ť I thought it would be fun to use their list as a model.

So here's your assignment, if you're up to it: create your own list of recommendations, with appropriate commentary. Try to limit your list to no more than 16.

My list will be up soon.
KG

lost souls and deadheads

2005-05-08T22:09:00.000-05:00

i'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me
i thought that i'd start a t.v. discussion thread since some of us have been chatting about deadwood, and some of us are bound to start posting about lost, arrested development, the office, and amazing race. oh, and days (that's days of our lives to those of you who think you're too cool to watch). so, you now know what we watch. what are you watching?

saving private kiriokas
speaking of days, i'll use this as an opportunity to update folks. sammi is in a bunker in iraq, being held with philip (who you'll recall was captured by count demira, although everyone thinks that he's being held hostage by iraqi insurgents). she's cut some sort of deal with tony, who has promised to spare her life and philip's, and, in exchange, she'll continue to do his evil bidding. will she continue to pose as her alter ego, the she-male stan? only time will tell. although sammi knows that shawn, rex, and brady are on their way to try and free philip (using john black's fool-proof plan that the i.s.a. deemed "too risky"--where is shane when you really need him?), but what she doesn't know is that the father of her dorky son and her almost husband, lucas, is also part of the band of halfwits. suh-prize. meanwhile, jack, cassie, roman, and marlena have finally made it back to salem, just in time to upset john b. and kate's plans to wed. that's right, wed. think on that for a while. finally, the dumbest cops on earth, bo and billie, have fallen for another demira trap in their efforts to locate their previously-thought-to-be-dead-but-now-revealed-to-have-been-wisked-away-at-birth daughter, georgia. i won't go into anymore detail than is necessary, but let's just say that it involves: a trapdoor in a spooky house, a gas leak, and some oops-i-thought-you-were-my-fancy-face lovin'. patrick and hope find them and attempt a rescue with knotted bedsheets.

eyes glazed and brain numbed,
cathy